Beware, or I'll eat you alive.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Fall is Here....

Hello Sweet Things,

Did all of you see that fabulous moon in the Autumn sky and on the Autumn Equinox too, I could feel an energy that was almost primeval, I even felt like howling at the moon like a wolf.

I received so many postings inquiring as to how I am doing, I could not ignore them.

I won't be posting as much, life has become so busy for me, that to take a little time to breathe is precious.

I'm still with the same company, an upgrade in position, plus a raise and I have an assistant, very nice young lady whom I'm going to mentor.

Joe and I are still doing fabulously, we get together as often as we can, given our crazy schedules. And when they don't quiet mesh he works on his jeep. I warned him about not getting grease on my carpet.

Lillian took a fall, the good thing no broken bones, thank God for thick carpeting, but she insists on living independently yet. Her sons have looked into those alarm things you wear for just in case. A very good idea.

This last Thursday evening I took her to see "The Man who shot Liberty Valance" on classic film night at the theatre. There is something about seeing a film on the big screen that one is familiar with, you discover subtle nuances that the director is trying to get across. That in the end, I wondered --- Did the John Wayne character really shoot Valance as he said he did, or did he just say that so the Jimmy Stewart character could go and do the good that he could do? We only have just the one man's word.

Joe says I'm thinking too much like a forensic detective. I don't think that's a bad thing.

I did talk to Lillian about her situation, but she is determined to have her own way, I can't argue with her, just do my best to keep an eye on her.

My family is doing just fine, had a chance to visit them in August, and go to my country house during the 4th of July weekend. I feel a little sad because I can't visit it as often as I would like, but my caretakers are taking very good care of it and Buddy the dog, patrols the grounds and rounds up the goats.

The funny thing is when I'm there and going over paperwork in my "office" he curls up at my feet. We think he's guarding me.

There has been a few weddings there which helps bring in a nice income to offset taxes and maintenance. The historical society still prefers to hold their smaller meetings at my house, I don't mind, keeps it in use.

Right now I'm planning a nearly week long trip into the wine country, I'm thinking of re-stocking my 'cellar' with some special wines, and just enjoying the fall season.

It seems like every 4 weeks or so I need to get out of town, just to decompress and to make sure I'm not missing out on life, just living, just being alive!

I find that more and more I enjoy the changes of the seasons, and all the little things it brings, this morning I woke up early, and enjoyed the play of the changes of colors in the morning sky, of the blues, pinks and golds, the promise of the heat that the sun will bring, the play of the light on the Bay waters, the feel of the slight breeze on my skin. And a indefinable scent that tells me it's Autumn, I wish there was a way to bottle that scent and uncork it when needed.

The demands of work has me putting in longer hours, but I have an excellent team and I try to think of any possible problems. The higher ups did get upset with me because I took a little longer on making a decision but I told them that I felt I didn't have all the facts at hand and I was right, saved us a lot of money.

Lillian said I should get a housekeeper or maid, to ease my work load at home, I told her that I wasn't sure if I could find one who would understand the living arrangement that I have with Joe, bold woman that Lillian is she said that she had one in mind who doesn't blush at anything.

Her name is Esperanza, she comes to Lillian's house and does cleaning, laundry etc. and some cooking for her, I talked to her and we've worked out an arrangement, since Lillian is right next door, so I won't have to be concerned with cleaning house and doing some errands like picking up dry cleaning and such. Nothing heavy just to keep me ahead of things. Esperanza is happy because she needed another 'client' and this works perfectly. We talked about all the business arrangements, since she is self -employed she takes care of her own business needs. So I don't have to worry about that.

So many changes have been happening to me, to my family and friends. I'm doing well, just so very busy. But I have noticed a lot of changes here where I live and where I work, many not good, stores closing, more homelessness, people driving their cars in a way that is unsafe and a rudeness among young people and those who have a false sense of entitlement, who seem to be drifting and a demand to protect their own space.

But at the same time I've also noticed especially among the professionals and service people, more courtesy and consideration, a trying to understand another's problems.

Joe says that although some crimes are down, there are others that are rising that is not being reported out there.

I have a feeling or sense of desperateness, greater anger, and disregard for people and property, I would guess the best way to describe it is an evil selfishness----yes, evil selfishness---that is what I'm feeling, but I refuse to allow it impact me in a negative way. I still enjoy my city, for all its grittiness, it manages to capture one's imagination.

I'll still walk it's fog swept damp streets, the haziness of it's neon signs, as I wrap my trench coat tighter around me to keep out the Bay cold, as fog horns sound in the night. It's time to prowl again, perhaps not as often, taking in it's ghosts, it's memories of mysterious nights, fog enshoulded buildings that seem to appear and disappear, as if moments of time overlay the areas, and once again hunt for "the black bird, Mr. Spade."

But now I must go, things to do, places to go.

Kisses sweet things and to you too Sweet Fram.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

This Might be my Last post~~~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

This maybe my last post, at least for quiet a while.

So much has been happening in my life of late, that it is hard to keep up with it.

An update----Baby Sis has now her degree in Business she is going back for her Masters, she and Ted are still engaged, but are thinking of only having a very simple wedding, all very homespun and down to earth, taking in the economy and everything.

She and Ted are doing a side business in regards to vintage items and collectible cars.

Dad is still with his company and a much happier man, he has embraced the Catholic faith, even with the Church's problems, but he feels that it is much closer to his way to celebrate God's blessings.

Mom couldn't be happier about this, her little sewing business is thriving very well, even in this down side economy. And their house is now truly a home, with a "Thomas Kinkade" feel to it.

Yoshi and her husband are managing Yoshi's mother's affairs after the death of her father, she is holding up well and now has cause to celebrate, Yoshi is going to be a mother. Her Mother is now so happy about this that it has eased the loss of Yoshi's father.

Lynda is going through with her divorce, her husband is shocked when she said he could keep the house, have full custody of the boys, no spousal support, just a little help in moving her things out. Since she earns only a little less than him but enough to live comfortably, she's only asked for 1/3 of their assets, the other 1/3 set aside for the boys. Her husband has agreed although he cannot possibly understand why she isn't demanding much----he really doesn't know that she's doing this to save her sanity. She will still see the boys, but has asked that her soon to be ex-husband be there. Like ball games and some parties and such.

My co-workers all have their ups and downs but on the whole are doing well, the business is doing fine and we are managing, although there has been some cut back and a little downsizing.

I sold one of my properties and have been in touch with the couple that has bought it, and things are going well with them. And I still managed to make a little profit.

My other country property is still my other home, being used as a meeting place for the local historical society, and with the grounds fixed up I've made arrangements with my caretakers for the property to be used for small Garden weddings, and small events. The historical side of it is also going well and is giving me a tax break. We now have several goats for weed abatement, and a cow for milking demonstrations---the historical society couldn't be happier.

My caretakers are doing well including Buddy the dog, it's like a weight has been lifted off of them. I'm planning to go and see them in the next few weeks, most likely during the 4th of July weekend.

I'm still living here in the Bay Area but may eventually consider moving permanently to my country house and renting out my bay area home.

Lillian is doing well---so well that I wish I could borrow her energy, we still get together to go to different events and movies and her family has been coming around more to check on her. She is planning to eventually move to stay with one of her sons who is building an in law house on his property, nothing much just a bedroom, living/dinning, with galley kitchen and a bathroom designed for elder or disabled persons.

Lillian and I are going to see the opening of that movie "Jonah Hex", we're both looking forward to it.

My dear friend Frank has met a lovely lady, who loves Cowboy Shooting and from the way things are going, it is very serious between them.

And Joe and myself----we are happy, very happy---Joe has moved into a smaller studio apartment that he calls his male haven but he does spend many a days and nights at my place, but we've agreed that it's best that we each keep our own places, his schedule can be crazy, especially with the summer events coming up. But he's much happier with his new apartment and it's location, closer to work and to me, less rent. He's considering buying a small to mid-size RV nothing too big something just right for long weekends with capability to tow a small trailer with a car on it---like a jeep. He's rebuilding a jeep from the world war 2 era, but can handle the stress of the 21st century. Love that Man.

The jeep is in my spare car space, like I said Love that Man. He's promised to keep an eye on Lillian and stay at my place whenever I'm out of town. Why not, he keeps his tooth brush in my bathroom.

So yes I will continue to go on trips by myself, when I feel like it. Joe understands and appreciates my need for independence, just as I know he needs his time alone as well.

We have both joined SASS the cowboy competition shooting---yes Sweet Things---I've become a "cowgirl". Joe likes the feel of it, he also wants to get involved with Civil War re-enactments as well---so this promises to be something very special for the both of us. Studying history from the 1840's to 1899.

I don't feel so rootless anymore, I feel centered, grounded. Eventually we may move to Arizona or Colorado, or we may just live in an RV or Air Stream Trailer and simply "Paint Our Wagon" with the sign "Any where or Bust".

All I know is that I'm happy and contented---the ups and downs in life I can manage.

I always fear the eventually passing of my parents, which must come as all things do, but to know that we are now on such loving and happy terms makes me feel just wonderful.

I just wish that all of you have that same contentment.

Sweet Fram I see that you are back---I wish to you the same contentment that I have found----I may not get married but I am in a relationship that gives me joy.

The fabulous Diva will still walk the fog enshrouded streets of San Francisco, she will still look for Sam Spade and the black bird, but she is no longer rudderless. And that is all she can ask for.

I may post again eventually, but if not---I wish all you Sweet Things the best of Everything.


Friday, May 7, 2010

Taking a Break~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

I have not been posting on a regular basis of late, life has been busy for me and my family and friends.

Until things slow down to just a dull roar, I'm going to be taking a break from posting for a while.

I know that there are some of you that enjoy my postings, and I thank you for your interest.

I'm going to stay with my family for a week to celebrate my baby sisters college graduation. I am very happy for her.

I'm also helping my friend Yoshi while she gets her father's legal papers in order, even when it's a simple trust there are papers to be signed, things to account for with the IRS and other things and Yoshi is beginning to have a head ache about it, and her brothers are not being much help.

Her husband helps out as best he can but because his firm requires him to travel he is not around as much as he would like to be and has asked me to help her and her Mother.

So I may not be posting for the next few months. And with the weather trying to warm up I wish everyone a very Happy Summer, be safe and have fun.

Kisses Sweet Things

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I have not forgotten all of you~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

Has it been two weeks since I last posted? Yes it has.

So much has happened, helping Yoshi, helping Lillian, helping Lynda, helping my co-workers and my clients. I am tired.

I went into work early today, good thing too, not that I have a back log but just a lot to clear away.

Just a quick update, Joe and I are doing fine. I need to let you all in on how things are going on that front, but I'm too tired to type beyond this short post.

The rain and cold and pollen have taken their toll on me and my sinuses. But taking the medication is worse for me, so I'll just 'deal with it'.

This weekend all I'm going to do is sleep, sleep and more sleep until I can't sleep any more. It will be a do nothing weekend. A vacation from work and home. I don't even want to drive any place.

My caretakers at my country home are doing fine, even Buddy the dog that we rescued, I've been told that he's like a puppy now, getting vitamins, and really good food and everything.

The repairs on the house is going just fine, they sent me video feed of what has been done, and I'm please and so is the Historical Society.

Come May 1 is the start for my Summer Season, and I'm going to have to plan on things, and squeeze in my sister's graduation party. Finally her Bachelors in Business but back to school for her for her Master's.

So much that my mind is whirling.

But now my most important thing is Dinner----I think I'll order delivery---Yes, the good old standby---Chinese!!!

Kisses, Sweet Things and more to come, when I'm up to writing.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Made a mistake

Hello Sweet Things,

And to one Sweet Thing in particular.

I had received a comment that was nice, it simply said "Hello---nice to meet you" but signed with little square boxes.

I made the mistake of accidentally rejecting it instead of posting it. And I do apologize.

I had a very late night last night, I was with my friend Yoshi, and she was in tears, her Father, who had been in Hospice for the last few weeks had died.

She had to be the rock for her family to see that the right things were done, and she had no one to console her as she was doing the consoling for everyone else----I understand her feelings as she is my friend from college and more than once she said "Who cares for the Caregiver?"

So I was the support and consoler for her, but I only had a few hours sleep, and need to run errands today, but I should know than to make "little tiny moves" using a computer. And so I accidentally deleted/rejected the comment.

My apologies to you Whomever you maybe. Please comment again and I will be more careful.

Joe and I had our talk and I have to say the outcome was and is positive. We are both in a place that we are happy with.

I will post on that later, when my mind is working a bit better. But now I need to go back to Yoshi and help her, I promised her I would. This is not an easy time, and I need to be there for her.

Kisses Sweet Things.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Thoughts and Decisions~~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

Dad is now baptized a Catholic! Mom is Happy! Baby Sis and fiancé Ted are Happy! And so am I!

Bit by bit over the nearly 2 years that have passed, a cloud that had covered my parents house for most of their married life and for our formative years, has finally lifted, Mother seems to credit me with being the cathartic effect that started Dad’s transformation, but I have always felt that it was there, Dad just had to take that chance to change, I think young Alex, at Dad’s work was and is very helpful, he showed Dad the way.

I think I was just the “consciousness” that he needed to help him make that decision. But I know many people will ask “Why Catholic?” Well it was the religious belief that Mother grew up in and had the strongest convection with, in many ways for Dad, it gives him the structure he still needs but without being a dictator, it also gives him the freedom to freely celebrate all those religious points of redemption with love.

I know that with all the news stories of pedophile priests and the inaction of the current pope when he was a cardinal it makes the Catholic church look vile, but what people forget is that pedophiles occur in any religious belief, there are pedophile ministers in protestant churches, the same with Rabbis’, Imams, Scout masters, baby sitters, teachers in private and public schools, coaches, you name it, they are everywhere. So why should one religious group be singled out of all the others, people forget you will find pedophiles everywhere.

Dad feels it’s because the leaders of the church were not aggressive to weed them out, but it is also true of other churches and organizations. It is not so much a church, as keeping faith in one’s religious beliefs; we make the mistake of putting leaders religious, political, or organizational on pedestals forgetting that they are human and fallible; prey to all the evils that plague up. Even the late Martin Luther King, Jr. use to smoke cigarettes, but that does not make him a spokesperson for the tobacco industry; he still was a leader that sparked a movement.

Former President Jimmy Carter has a brother that was an embarrassment, but he weathered it, even though I think that he was one of the worst presidents we ever had.

I know that with my above statements it may seem like I’m defending the Pope or the Catholic Church---I’m not, but I think that we as a nation of responsible people are losing our focus by being too intent on one aspect and not looking at others. It does not excuse what has happened, No, but we are not looking at a much bigger picture outside of any religious organization.

Alright Sweet Things I will leave that subject for now----it is something that should be discussed in a “court of law”. Not debated on a blog at least not on my blog.

I am just happy that my family is healing and moving forward, that light has come into our lives, and that with the rest of the years remaining with my parents it will be better and happier for all of us.

Easter I have to say was wonderful, even if a bit chilly, that didn’t matter, all was love, healing, light and warmth. One couldn’t ask for more.

I wish I could have stayed longer but my demands at work prevented that, and I had to fly back early Monday morning, I flew back without my luggage, Mom is going to wash and press my things and I’ll have them available for when I go back down, this way I can just use an overnight case if I have to. So took a cab to the nearest Bart Station and back to work, shocked my co-workers but what can you do, I have to hit the ground running and a good thing I did.

Lillian is back in her own home now, feeling much, much better, I’m so glad----I missed her abrasive honesty, we had dinner and went to the movies tonight and caught a late night showing of “Clash of the Titans” in 3-D. Lillian wanted to see if it’s better than the old 3-D movies of the 1950’s. She was very impressed and I was entertained.

I talked to her about Lynda’s situation and asked if I did anything to put her marriage in jeopardy, Lillian is acquainted with Lynda, told me that even she could see that this was coming for a long time, I just gave Lynda a chance to think clearly to make a clear decision, she saw Lynda’s boys and how Lynda’s husband was undercutting any discipline to keep them in line. Lillian said that it would be best for Lynda to make a very clean break, even if it means she will never see her boys again.

But according to Lillian, it may not be such a loss for Lynda if she regains her sanity, Lillian likened it to and operation for cancer, even if it is a “cancer of the heart.”

But now as for my situation with Joe that is a different matter.

I have very strong feelings for Joe, granted I’m friends with Frank, but Frank has a lady that he has dated from time to time, so as someone who is serious with me, Frank is not in that picture, even though I do adore him and worry about him as a friend.

But Joe----I told Lillian that I was not sure if I wanted to be married at all, nor was I interested in sharing my home either---that may sound selfish, but I’ve carved out a life for myself that I am very contented with, I am free to come and go as I wish, do as I wish, live as I wish. Would that be fair to Joe?

Lillian told me that it’s more fair to be honest with Joe, because he maybe feeling the same things as well, but that he may not want me to have any false hope of the possibility of marriage or living together. To have these ideas and feelings out in the open is vital.

She did suggest that from a legal point of view it might be helpful for the both of us to have legal rights if both our families live far away from us to make immediate decisions, especially in regards to medical decisions, to at least keep us alive until family can arrive.

So much to think about! I’m not sure. But Lillian is right we do need to have our thoughts and opinions on the table, to be honest with each other. I’m just a little afraid that if I tell Joe how I feel that I might lose him, but if I don’t I would be dishonest and unfair to both of us.

But with that fear is a chance I’ll have to take; I’ll know by tomorrow, he has a day off and doesn’t need to be on duty. I’ll just have to take my courage and my heart into both of my hands and hope for the best, expect the worst and see what comes. I hope I can do this.

For now I’ll put off that worry until tomorrow, right now it was dinner and a movie with Lillian, good thing I drove she demanded at least two beers at dinner. Good for her.

Until Later Sweet Things.

Friday, April 2, 2010

A phone call~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

My Mother and I are going shopping in a few minutes, Dad is at work, Baby sis is with her husband to be (eventually).

While Mom was getting ready I got a phone call from Joe, he said a number of sweet things to me and asked me to seriously consider something which could mean a change in my life, he doesn't want to rush me, as he said "we have all the time in the world."

He is seriously considering retiring from his job and looking at taking another and yes he is a police officer, he wants to stay in that line of work but in another location, away from the Bay Area, but he knows I have my life as well. So he said he'll hang in there until I'm sure about my decision as well. No rush, no time constraints he knows I have commitments as well.

He was married once, a long time ago, she died---cancer, no children, so he knows it means changes in how we live and commit ourselves and our life styles.

He said to not think about it now, to enjoy family and friends, and then later we'll put our ideas and feelings on the table, I could only agree, so we shall see sweet things, we shall see.

Mom is ready so we're off.

Later Sweet Things and Happy Easter.

Home is where the heart is~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

I'm here with my family for Easter, every one's in bed except me and Trixie the dog, I'm at my Dad's computer and she is at my feet, waiting for me to turn in.

Just too wound up today, and I don't know why. Flew down on an evening flight from Oakland Airport, I'm glad I took a taxi to the terminal and only packed one bag. It only confirmed for me the train is the way to go.

Even that evening everyone trying to get a flight, some on standby, and even though it's local still had to check everything.

If I have to I can fly, but I really don't feel secure on something so 'iffy', the ratio of thrust to lift to mass, technically they say that the bee can't fly, yet it does, technically a piece of "tin" shouldn't fly, yet it does, but if it drops---kiss everything good-bye.

Mom said that if I want to buy a few things and leave them here I could, I just might do that, we're going to do a little shopping tomorrow and she has a closet and bureau in the sewing room so I can leave things there, mostly casual stuff and toothbrush, comb and such. It would be less to pack, especially if I have to take the plane again.

And Dad going to be baptized in the Catholic Church! A Miracle and one that I'm glad about.

I talked to Joe on the phone earlier this evening, he's going to work Easter Evening, to cover for one or two of the men who have families, he sounds good, Lillian is still at her son's house, her other son is checking her house, she is doing fine, said she'll be home next Tuesday. I'm glad I miss her company.

And Baby sis graduating this June, but she's going right back for her Master's, she said that she's going to skip the graduation ceremonies, she feels the one for her master's will be more important, Dad kept asking her if she was sure and she said she was, it would be more fun and relaxing just to have a special party at home. She said she didn't want all that graduation stuff to clutter up her thoughts.

Mom's little business is doing well, she has a couple of wedding gown's in the works, and both will be ready for the June dates, she refused to do the bride's maid dresses, and a couple of suits for a Great Gatsby to do. She's done a couple of hats and is sewing gloves. I managed to pack some vintage patterns for her that I found at a thrift store in the City, she loved them.

Oh, oh Dad is here, and telling me time for bed. So to bed I must go.

Nity Night Sweet Things

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Total Total update on what I have been doing

Well Sweet Things,

I’ve taken a half day off from work today and am now at home, I’ve finishing packing and am now going to have dinner, I’m going to take the plane down to my folks house this evening, something I very rarely do, but I want to maximize the little amount of time I’ll have there, I’ll be coming back Monday Morning for the Easter Festivities. And this time it’s very important, Dad is being baptized Sunday afternoon into the Catholic Church, Mother is so happy she called me last night crying with joy, he had been doing his studies and they had been making preparations for this.

So this is more than just an Easter Dinner, it’s a “Re-Birth” of everything.

Some of my “invisible” followers asked what did I do on my Spa weekend and I did promise to post it so I want to warn you this is a very, Very long blog post, so have fun reading it.

First I was a good as my word.

I booked myself into the Claremont Resort and Spa for the weekend, and did not check out until Monday morning to go to work, refreshed and ready to go.

That Friday I worked all day came home and drove to the resort which is less than 20 minutes away, I had managed to get a ticket for the Berkeley Wine Festival which had its Grand Opening that Friday, had the most wonderful delicious dinner, excellent conversation with some acquaintances, afterwards I continued relaxing in the Jacuzzi bath. Oh that was wonderful!

Don’t worry Sweet Things I did watch my wine intake, just sips to see what I would like, but I always have to be careful drinking too much.

I woke up Saturday without a hangover and feeling very good, I could not miss the Gun show at the Cow Palace, so after having a scrumptious breakfast, I drove to San Francisco, through glorious sunshine; while having my eyes most of the time on the road I could occasionally see the skyline of the city washed away for a short time by the rain of all the grime that it can get. For some reason it looked new and fresh and exciting, instead of being a place to get to for work.

Perhaps it was because this time I was going for pleasure instead of earning the big bucks, the morning looked like the promise of spring to come.

They know my face there, once in I waved to familiar faces and they waved back, our Daly City police monitoring all people coming in, everyone being very careful in regards to the gun laws, lots and lots of families, it was amazing the number of parents with children, many looking over security devices for their homes, antiques and collectibles, guns and beautiful jewelry.

One husband/boyfriend was saying to his lady, “Honey you let me go ahead with the purchase, now you get what you want, as much as you want, I love you!” followed with a huge kiss and she laughing and hugging him, saying “Well I want that necklace and earrings and ring but I want you to buy me the pink one.” And he agreed, I didn’t realize until later that the ‘pink one’ was a snub nose revolver andonolized in pink!

I mean Sweet Things, pink guns or red or blue derringers, and I saw a serious looking rifle with pink ribbons attached to it, but then the girl was dressed gothic Lolita, but in pink!! All I could think of was Mr. Wolf better watch out!! Ms. Bo Peep’s Sheep are well protected and she’ll come gunning for you.

As a matter of fact I was just a little surprised about the number of Goth dressed people there; it wasn’t until later that I found out about an interesting development among some groups of Goth Folks.

My friends with the Sunnyvale Regulators were there and we had a very nice chat. But what still got me were the families, Sons and Daughters 9, 10 and 11 years old, asking questions from Dad and Mom about the merits of certain handguns, and the historical factor!!

One Dad was pointing out to his son a 1890’s colt with ivory grips, there was a historical tag to it and the Dad was explaining to his son about the history about it, the boy asked if he could hold it and I over heard the Dad say “Sorry Son even I’m afraid to hold it, it’s historical, and you have to remember the rule because you’re not 21 you can’t hold a gun yet, but don’t worry when you’re a little older I’ll teach you the safe way, but you got to learn your history on this.” And the boy nodded, the seller did allow the boy a very close look as he showed to him the action of the colt, but it was no touching.

The ammo dealers had all the required barriers up as now required by law, and there was a run on the military style ammo boxes, and books on history, and gun care, antiques and collectibles.

I broke down and bought something so strange, but for some reason I wanted it. The price was a steal at only $20, it was a double ash tray with the box in the center to hold cigarettes, with Indian designs all around it, but never used, on the lid of the box was a Indian with full feathered headdress, It was right out of the 1920’s if you found it in a guest lodge in the woods. I don’t smoke, but I thought it would be perfect to hold stamps and paper clips on my desk at home.

Then I saw it --- a small cal colt automatic with genuine pearl handle, about 1928, just perfect for a woman. The action was great and the price $950 so I bought it. Of course have to go thought the steps and I’m taking it to a gun smith to have it thoroughly checked out, but the provenance on it was impeccable since I know the dealer, it was owned by a Madam who operated a bordello in the outer reaches of San Francisco. The seller had all the history, which wasn’t too hard for me to prove, I talked to another seller whom I was familiar with and he verified the provenance, he went to the same estate sale and cursed himself for missing out on buying the gun.

I thought to myself, only the “Fabulous Diva” would think of owning a gun that was formerly owned by a Madam. It was too delicious!!

Taking a break for coffee I phoned Joe on my cell, I had looked at the time and feared he’d be on duty, he has a policy if on duty it will go to voice mail and he’d check it later when he could. And it did go to voice mail, so I left a message in regards to the gun, which I’m sure he’d get a chuckle out of. I thought I’d call Frank later, on that.

While I was taking my coffee break, the group of young Goths came in, the place was packed so I offered my table and they sat down and had water and chips, we talked about the Goth movement (way too much for me to assimilate) but they were into the “death side” of Goth or Morbid side, being interested in funeral rites, cemeteries and such, and they had come in to get artistic ideas for their works, and the Gun Show was perfect, they even bought some badly broken parts for their art works, and one had fun showing me some paper weights with scorpions and such in them.

They go to Gun shows, funeral conventions, visit cemeteries, graveyards, taking photos getting ideas. It was a novel concept and I enjoyed their unusual ideas.

Later while looking over some books on history at one counter, the din in the show was loud but it had become sort of back ground noise, when all of a sudden there was a loud BANG!! Everyone became quiet, and all looked in the same direction, I saw several mother pull their babies out of the carriages, and fathers taking hold of their children’s hands, but no one moved, just looked in the same direction all waiting to see what it was to determine action, the police and security were on top of it immediately, nothing more happened, but everyone remained quiet.

I found this interesting, for I know that if this was at my office the reaction would be screams, then people would start chattering and beginning to panic and running quickly to exits but here at the show, it was different, it was ‘wait for it, wait for it, assess it’ and silence, no panic just everyone accessing the situation. Even I was looking the situation over checking which way was the quickest exit.

In an area where everyone has access to guns and ammo there was no sudden moves, no false steps, just caution. Then an announcement came over the loud speaker, “Sorry folks, but a heavy duty truck tire exploded just outside, no injuries, our police and security are helping the truck owner.” A light buzz of talk and then people started clapping all over the show, in appreciation of the situation.

But it was that reaction that impressed me; it showed me that responsible gun owners react differently than the general population, but even more so in view of terrorists, people will react in a way that is to protect our personal safety from those that would destroy it.

Later when I was leaving the show just outside the main entrance to one side I saw the truck with the flat tire and Triple A helping the owner change it. It was a BIG tire.

In my car, I was going through my wallet and I checked again the date when my gun safety card would expire and it’s this year***sigh***so at the next show I’ll have it renewed before the September date, plenty of time to do a review of the safety manual.

I drove back to the Claremont again enjoying the sunshine, but I noticed a plume of black smoke coming from over the Oakland hills, I was concerned because everyone had told me about the horrible Oakland Hills fire from nearly 20 years ago and there are still stands of Eucalyptus trees in the hills highly flammable, but it appeared that the fire was coming from the other side of the hill, I thought that once I returned to the Resort I’d check the news to see what it was.

At the desk I was informed that it was a structure fire in a lumberyard some miles away on the other side of the hills but the smoke was highly visible.

I had a late nosh, to keep my energy up, and then enjoyed my next round of spa treatments ---I wanted to be pampered and pampered I was.

I held off having dinner until later, just enjoying the feeling of relaxing and taking a nap, it felt good to get the chill out of the bones and just feeling re-juvinated and feeling worth while.

I was getting dressed for dinner when Joe called, apologizing for not getting back to me sooner, but I understood, his job is not easy and the hours are not exactly regular. He asked me about the semi-auto I purchased, and laughed at the reason why I wanted it.

And he accused me of being a “vintage gun collector”, not so I said, only those that have a certain feel I told him, but he was happy for me and asked me where I was at; when I told him he asked why and I told him that I felt stressed and why. But I said that given his work, I could understand his feelings of being stressed. He told me that he’s put in 10 years with the department and is thinking of going to another city or county, not right away just somewhere. But he wants to talk to me more about it in depth when we both have the time. So a rain check, kisses, plans to meet up maybe take in a movie or something and a soft goodbye.

I hated ending our call but one must do what one must, checked my voice mails, Lillian is feeling much better. But we will miss having St. Paddy’s day together. Yoshi left a message for me about going to a free talk at the local library on St. Paddy’s day. I decided to call her back after dinner.

I called my friend Linda, she works very hard, with a husband who is often out of town due to his work, 3 teen age boys who I noticed do not give her any respect, granted calling her at the last minute to see if she could come over Sunday, was not exactly nice, but I offered her brunch and a full spa day with me at the Claremont, and she leaped at it, said her Mother in-law was over for the weekend and would be glad to keep an eye on the boys as best she can, given their attitude, Linda said that she and her Mother in law had been having a serious talk but she needed to clear her head to make some decisions, so a bit of time away from the boys would be good.

Dinner was enjoyable and leisurely, I decided to wear my tinted glasses, having removed my contacts to let my eyes rest, the advantage with these glasses is I can look at people and observe them and they are not aware of it and in the soft light of the restaurant there is an advantage. It’s like watching various soap operas going on at the same time. But I think of my own scenarios, which can be fun.

I called Yoshi she told me her Mother is getting better and her brother would be by later in the week to check on their mother, so Yoshi can have the middle of the week off and go back to work. They are considering having a caregiver come and live with her, but Yoshi’s Mom is against having someone she is not familiar with, Yoshi and her brother’s will be getting together to come up with a solution that will help everyone.

Yoshi asked if I want to go to a free talk at our Local Library on of all things, Horror Fiction----on St. Paddy’s day of all things, I thought ‘why not, it’s free, and it might be interesting’

Sunday was total spa day after having a delightful brunch at their premier restaurant, then it was having the hair done, facial, back facial, spa treatment, massage, lunch, I had to pay extra because this was tailored for me, but I didn’t care and to be able to treat Linda, who has been supportive of me when I was in need, it was my way of saying thank you.

I don’t have these full spa treatments very often at the most 3 times a year, and it is worth it. But then I’m fortunate I have the funds for this. Most of the time I will indulge in a pedicure because it feels good to have my feet pampered, and a massage and frankly I think I deserve it, I work hard for my money and my income is good. So it pays to have a bit of a treat.

My friend Linda joined me starting with brunch . She told me that she was grateful that I had called her the day before, she said that the boys were acting out, her husband was out of town so she had to take some time off from work, she desperately needed some sort of break, Grandma came to the rescue to at least feed the boys and do her best to watch them, where could Linda go, ta daaa my phone call. Yeaaa a break and on my dime.

It was wonderful, first a full body massage and then mani-pedi’s with foot massage, relaxing in the spa bath, Linda and I sharing ‘war stories’, we both agreed, that in a way, the best all around woman is one who works and raises children because they can see both sides of the world.

But Linda did confess, there were times when she regretted having 3 children, it was too much, and working to set aside money for all three to go to college, Linda finally said they better get really good grades because they were going to have to go for scholarships.

3 boys are really very exhausting, and what was making Linda unhappy is that the house had to be geared towards 4 males and their over abundance of being athletic, she didn’t have a room of her own that she could call her own. She wished that one of the boys had been a daughter, but her husband had been overjoyed at having a boy each time, and when she brought up the idea that maybe it might be a girl, he became --- Linda didn’t have a word to describe how he reacted if she didn’t produce a boy.

I heard a sense of wistfulness in her voice, I asked her if she really talked to her husband about what she was feeling, she said she tried, I strongly suggested to her that she should because if it keeps going on she was going to feel very resentful about things and it could lead to a divorce.

The look she gave me was astonishing, she said that was what she was waiting for, she no longer loved her husband, he thought more about the boys, under minded everything she worked at, and although he earned more salary-wise, she was bringing in a very good income as well, but he constantly belittled her to the point where she was loving her job more than him.

The boys are in their teens now, and totally ignoring her, if she tried to ground them, her husband would undo the grounding saying “boys will be boys” and other things.

Now the boys were able to drive, and each wanted a car, she was terrified, she said they could lose everything, and then she was silent for a minute and said to me “I really don’t have anything except my income, my job.”

She went on to say that her husband chose the location and the house, things that she wanted in the house would get moved and he’d allow the boys to damage or break things that she liked. She hired a housekeeper to come in several days a week to clean, and a gardening service but any help from the boys or her husband was out of the question.

Whenever he took the boys skiing or boating she’d stay home and enjoy the peace, “Help me” Linda asked.

I thought and thought and then remembered the name of a very good lawyer, it was a question of protecting their assets from a law suit. And if she couldn’t get her husband to protect what they owned jointly to at least protect her income and any assets she would get. I also knew of an excellent divorce lawyer, and offered that name to her.

Linda told me she didn’t want the house, just 1/3 of the investment portfolio, give her the car she drove most often, her clothes and jewelry. And her husband could have full custody of the boys. She didn’t even want to contribute support to the boys, “They can get that from the portfolio, Hell, he can have the entire portfolio to support the boys, it earns twice as much as I do in a year and we just let the money sit there. I don’t want his retirement, but he better leave mine alone.” She took the names of both lawyers.

I made some suggestions to her to protect her income which she made notes of, she told me that if her husband balks at seeing an estate lawyer then that was it, finish, done, finito.

I also suggested that it might be a good move to suggest to her husband that they seek counseling before she took the drastic step of divorce; she told me that she had more than once and he refused saying there was nothing wrong. She said she was glad that there were no pets in the house, after the fiasco of the pet rats, a no pets rule was laid down that even her husband surprisingly supported.

She said that even her Mother-in-Law supported the idea of her divorcing her son, her mother in law!! I asked Linda what brought that round of support and she said that her Mother in law had been in the same situation, had three boys, husband ignored her, so she had an affair, got pregnant again and this time had a girl. Said that having the girl made a world of difference; until her father in law died he thought the girl was his, never knew, I asked does her husband know and Linda said no, and she is going to keep it that way.

The massage and spa treatments did both of us a world of good, she had made some decisions that she would have been unable to do if it were not for me giving her a chance to get away and talking this out. I just hope that I wasn’t the final cause of it; I need to talk to Lillian.

We both had wine to drink afterwards with dinner then relaxed a little longer in the lounge; fortunately she had the foresight to come by taxi and took another taxi home. I went up to my room and settled down with a good fun book to read “Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter” definitely something off the wall.

Although the book entertained me, my thoughts kept drifting back to Linda, and again I found myself hoping that I had not precipitated the break up of a marriage, but from what she told me it was already happening, I just gave her the chance to think and make a decision.

I put the thought away from my mind, and resolved to keep in close contact with her, she was going to need a friend if she went though this or not.

I moved my chair next to the window that had a wonderful view of the Bay Area, I let my mind drift, occasionally it would snatch at a bubble of thought, I’d mentally play with it and then let it go.

I had already made plans to go down and stay with the folks for Easter, I wasn’t going to be able to stay long so I’d be flying down Wednesday evening and coming back the following Monday, taking my laptop with me although I know Dad will give me access to keep in touch with work.

So I’d be using the upcoming week to put the finishing touches on my “power point” presentation and have it ready by the following Monday, then I could mentally relax, for the following weekend. ***sigh*** and part of it was I was going to have to get a new cell phone with appys’; all these new gadgets, but it’s for work, so “tax write off”.

Monday was back to work, what I did was plan to have breakfast at the resort, drive my car home and take the public transportation into work. I had planned to come in late anyway since I was planning to work late, that evening at work I got a call from Joe who wearing his blue tooth, was telling me he was circling the block around my office and was picking me up to take me out to dinner.


We drove back over the bridge enjoying the twilight, but not the traffic, oh well can’t have everything. Over dinner at the China Gourmet we gave each other updates on what was happening. Joe told me that Frank was in a bad way, had to go to the hospital as he developed a serious chest congestion, so we’ve made plans to visit him Tuesday evening and see if he needed anything.

Joe told me that Frank had been working too hard and hardly taking any time to rest, so maybe this will teach him to slow down.

I hoped it was nothing worse. And I was right, Joe and I saw Frank Tuesday evening, he said that he’ll be out by Thursday, he’ll be putting in for some desk work for a while, taking meds until he’s doctor’s say he can go back on patrol, Frank thinks that maybe a little desk work won’t be a bad thing for a while, he understands the stresses of being out there, and having been on the beat, he’s not like some of those “desk jockeys’” he can empathize with them.

I was glad that he’s improving, so much has been happening, that I couldn’t afford to lose another friend.

Wednesday evening was a bit of a surprise, the talk on Horror Fiction started at 6:30 p.m. so we didn’t have time for dinner and planned on eating later, it turned out that it was one of the Library Staffers whose specialty is horror fiction, and in her talk she admitted that to talk about it in depth would be impossible in just one hour’s time, and given the huge scope of the subject I could understand, but she did bring up some interesting points on this genre.

She was asked a lot of insightful questions, which she answered very well and even admitted to areas where she was weakest on. But I was impressed with her knowledge on the subject and her talk was very entertaining, using pictures to illustrate her talk, some just down right funny. But her talk was peppy and upbeat, not dry as dust; she even had an ‘animatronics Jason’ figure that went into full motion at the end of her talk. What a way to end it, people had a hard time leaving and even Yoshi asked if she was going to repeat her talk at a later date, well depending upon scheduling she answered.

We followed her out to the parking lot helping her and her husband carry some of her props and still asking questions, and she answering them as best as she could even giving reference works to read.

Both Yoshi and I felt that we had to get to know her better, and asked for her business card, which she cheerfully gave saying that she’d love to talk to us over coffee about this subject.

All too soon it had to end, Yoshi and I walked over to La Piñata Restaurant for a late dinner, (arrgh, lots of gym work for me). Yoshi told me that her brothers and her have an idea to keep their mother happy and for them to not worry about her. It entails one of her Brother’s daughters, the eldest one, she has a jewelry business that is more of a hobby that pays for itself, her husband deserted her and since they lived in an apartment, she couldn’t afford it, so she is going to move in with Grandma while the divorce is moving forward, but Yoshi’s mom is happy that her grand daughter will be staying with her and we know she’ll take good care of her. And it appears that the Grandmother is very interested in helping in her grand daughters jewelry business, so something to give her an interest in.

I have to admit that I’ve been keeping my weight down very nicely, but it still is a lot of work and well worth it.

It’s funny but I feel better about a lot of things, now, ever since I had my cathartic emotional release, I feel better and brighter, and wanting to have fun. Joe appears to be closer in my life, it feels loving but I’m not asking him for anything except for his companionship, because I know it’s too easy to go into things without taking the time to properly access it. It’s not that I’m afraid of being hurt, I’m more afraid of damaging a friendship and I’d much rather we remain friends---maybe friends with benefits and being honest with each other as oppose to being exclusive lovers.

Joe and I had coffee before he left Sunday night after the anniversary memorial services, he has an early call on Monday, Frank just out of the hospital and still on sick leave to recover slept on the couch, and still has a week off from work before he goes to do his desk work, Tom and Phil crashed out on the cots, Bill was in a sleeping bag on the floor, all snoring, I had plenty of fixings for their breakfast Monday morning, even though I had to leave early, I knew they wouldn’t starve, would make their own breakfasts and everything was cleared away and cleaned up, when I got home, they are very good about that.

Now here I am at my computer, digesting the last few weeks of events, writing this down, listening to the radio---ABBA has just come on singing “Dancing Queen” I feel like that right now “See that girl she is the Dancing Queen.”

Kisses Sweet Things

Sunday, March 21, 2010

A Litte Catch Up~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

I had last weekend my relaxing spa treatments, and a gun show to see, I'll post about that later tonight perhaps.

It's been warm and wonderful all this week, promises of spring, and now this is the weekend of the first day of Spring and guess what~~~~ It is cold and overcast, oh yesterday was sort of nice, but I could see the cloud cover.

Ran errands, got in touch with my Folks, made plans to go and stay with them over the Easter Weekend.

And have been shopping for a new cell phone, it will be a burberry, but I have to decide between the Curve or the Bold, and given that I'm going to need it to keep in touch with work mostly, it is going to have to be the one that will give me the most power, apps, battery life, work e-mail contact---so I seem to be leaning towards the Bold. But more investigation.

But those tiny, tiny buttons!! I need a stylus just to be able to push them, my purse is turning into a brief case.

I'm having Frank (who is much, much better) and Joe and several of their friends over this evening, it is the one year anniversary of the death of those 4 police officers who died last year, a major tragedy, we've all be contributing to the education fund for their children.

So out comes the portable fire pit, and plastic cups for wine and beer, although I think more beer than anything. It will be a small group, many of the other officers have to be on duty or have other memorial services to go to.

I'll have the Dirty Harry DVD's ready to go or the Lethal Weapon series, maybe the latter, we shall see, and I know some of them will be sleeping it off in my living room, so sleeping cots and blankets ready.

The sun keeps trying to break out, I hope it succeeds.

This has been a month of contributing to charities, The Oakland Museum Fund raiser, Girl Scouts (cookies---back to the gym), Boy Scout pancake breakfast, Firemen Pancake Breakfast (more gym time), Muscular Dystrophy (my boss needs to be bailed out---trust me it's a fund raiser), and with thinking of purchasing some new electronic equipment for work, to use at home, a possible tax right-off. Considering that I do use my home office to do some of my work at home, on weekends, in the evenings----I'm going to have a nice chat with my Tax man, have to work it out and more book keeping involved.

So the beer is chilling, the fire pit is ready, finger food waiting to be heated, I just miss Lillian, she is still not fully up to par, but from what her son told me she'll be home after Easter.

No one is going to be here until after 6 p.m. so I'm going out for a walk or a drive I'm not sure which, just to keep my head clear.

I'll post about my spa adventure later Sweet Things---I had invited Linda to join me for one later afternoon and evening and was treated to a revelation----poor thing. But that will come later.

Until Then, Kisses Sweet Things.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


I have never had such an insane day at work, which on the whole in comparison with the other things that have been happening this week, was not too, too bad (thank GOD for back up).

But on the streets of San Francisco I think people have gone insane, or lost their collective minds, but then THIS is San Francisco!!! And I think some people have started celebrating St. Paddy’s’ day a week early.

I’m not going to go into what happened it will only get me all upset all over again.

My friends sad to say have problems of their own, understandable given the way things are now a days.

Yoshi is taking care of her sick Mother, my other friends are tied up with Family totally understandable, (although I must confess the way I feel right now I just don’t have any patience with ‘little ones’), Frank is ill with something no one wants to catch, Joe is pulling double duty (poor thing), Lillian is still out of town recovering from what she had, Thank God no pneumonia.

I am going to treat myself to a full weekend starting Friday night at the Claremont Resort and avail myself of their spa treatments, I’ve made the booking.---It’s time for me to pamper myself like the Diva I ‘think’ I am.

I’m playing my recording of Edith Piaf that I put together from other CD’s right now it’s playing “La Vie en Rose”, there are two versions by her, one more jazzy that the other, the other is a bit sadder, my homemade compilation relaxes me, although I don’t like all her songs, there are those that I like best.

And the skies of late have been sunny, although cold, trees are blooming and leafing.

Breathe deep Diva and relax, the end of the week is almost here, next Monday will be different.

Kisses Sweet Things

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Is it Love or a re-bound?

Hello Sweet Things,

I know I haven't been blogging for a while, I must confess, it has been several things keeping me busy.

First --Lillian has come down ill with a cold, she is staying at her son's house, until she is fully recovered, I've visited her and she is just as feisty as ever but that cough is bad, the good thing is that there is no fluid in her lungs, the doctor thinks it might be allergies, triggered by the cold, we shall see.

Second---I've been busy in the process of selling my other piece of property, crossing "T's" and dotting "i's" but it's moving forward.

Third ---Taxes!! Need I say more.

Fourth---I've been in touch with my caretakers at my country house and all is well I'm happy to say. I'm planning on going back up but most likely towards the end of this month.

Fifth----Work!! It is getting to the point where I need to keep my lap top with me almost all the time, and keeping in touch more often than not. One of these days I may get a moments peace.

Six----I told you how earlier this year I had an epiphany and found myself reeling over the fact that I had not mourned about my Love from years before, well----Sweet Things-----it seems that I may be in love again after all these years----it's someone that I've blogged about before and no, it is not Fram, he has found his lady and I wish him well and hope it works out well for him.

No, it's not someone from work, that would be impossible, and it's not my neighbor he is happily married and I love his wife---no----

All I can say is I'm going to go very slow on this, he seems to have the same feelings for me as well, but given the fact of his work schedule and his job, it will be hard for us to be together all the time, we have agreed to go slow, no moving in with each other, but the one thing we do agree upon is communication.

So we are taking this one day at a time, none of this high emotional stuff and then after 3 months "poof!" no, because we could easily hurt each other as well.

But I will keep you Sweet Things posted, but if you don't hear from me from time to time, well---like I said, slow process.

Kisses Sweet Things

Friday, February 26, 2010

Thoughts on a cold rainy day~~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

Well I did something unusual for me, I went in very early to work, did everything that needed to be done and was through by 11 a.m. and took the rest of the day off.

Why? I really don't know except that it felt that kind of day, and I really don't know why, the day was rainy, heavy dark clouds, heavy rain, wind, really not a special kind of day, but for some reason I was drawn back home and I took a walk along the beach.

The tide was high, the water choppy and a sort of green gray color, with small white caps, a few venturous souls were para sailing but not for long, the rain came and put an end to that, I kept walking away from my home, just looking out at the beach and the water, just enjoying the elemental nature of it.

There was something almost hypnotic watching the waves coming in and going out, eroding the beach a little at a time, it's like life, if you allow all the stresses and worries of your life work upon you it begins to erode you feelings of comfort, of joy, of self confidence.

But if you instead look upon those waves as if they are really wearing down all the worries instead of one's self confidence, and allow the wush, wush, wush sound of the waves lull you into a relaxed state what happens is that one's worries are eroded away instead, and you feel relaxed and in a positive state of mind.

I found myself feeling that way after watching the waves for a while, from a convenient bench, just watching them

I wish I had brought my camera but I was more in a mood to look at things as oppose to capture them on film.

There were a few hardy joggers braving the rain, as they ran along the cemented walk way above the beach proper. Eventually I got up walked some more but then I turned away from the beach when I reached the post office and headed towards the open air mall and the Starbucks, I thought it would be crowded but it wasn't, at least not yet, so I had my Hazelnut Mocha (with whipped cream) don't need sugar with whipped cream.

It's one of my indulgences, and just sat back and let my thoughts float, watching the rain come down through the window, watching the people run to and from their cars, watching a couple of students type away on their laptops.

And an older man also typing away, I wondered what he was doing---writing the great American novel? Who knows, each so wrapped up in their thoughts. The music playing was Eartha Kitt, jazz, it was a jazz mood blues kind of day.

I found myself sort of lulled by the music, the rain and the warming flavor of the coffee.

I realized I didn't want to cook dinner tonight, so finishing my coffee I went over to the China Gourmet, and ordered one of their dinner's for two to go. I knew I could heat up the left overs for tomorrow and I walked back home along the beach walk, the water sometimes looking threatening, and then the rain stopped and the clouds broke up and the San Francisco skyline looked beautiful in the late afternoon watery sunlight.

Promises of things to come perhaps.

When I got home, I started up the fire in the fireplace, put on Ella Fitzgerald, Billy Holiday, after all it is a Jazz Blues kind of day.

Kisses Sweet Things