Beware, or I'll eat you alive.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Stream of Consciousness, Guns and Soldiers

Oh Fram you are such a tease~~~~Hmmmmmm I like that.

You prefer “dark and stormy” instead of “Cold and Snowy”? I do too, unless I’m at an expensive ski resort. I’ll talk about “Dark and Stormy” sometime, there is something about thunderstorms, all that wild power that answers to no one.

“Stream of Consciousness” Mmmmmm Oh yes I can accept that. Much better than tearing down the drapes, and less expensive than the cost of bullets.

Mmmmmm but there is something about going to the range when I’m in a major rage, all that pent up anger, putting up a silhouette target, sometimes I’ll even tape a sort of name to it like “IRS”, or “Idiot Who Nearly Got Me Killed on the Freeway”, or something like that.

Putting the target out a few yards, then sighting down the sights on the top of the barrel of my Beretta and feeling the kick and seeing the hole appear on the target, blasting the center out until nothing exists of it. Growl!

Take that you fool who nearly got me killed!
Take that IRS for taking so much money out and spending it on Pork Barrel things like a bridge that goes no where!
Take that you idiot who stepped on my foot and didn’t even have the courtesy to apologize!
Take that you Bitch for talking so loud and using foul language that everyone can hear your life story---Did we really need to hear your pitiful excuse for a Soap Opera? (Snarl, Hiss)

That phrase from “Apocalypse Now” --- ‘I love the smell of cordite in the morning’, it’s true, and it can be like a perfume for me once the anger is released.

Then when I’m done, backing away from the firing line, taking off my safety glasses, sizing up how well I did and then turning and raising an eye brow at the iddy-biddies who were watching me shoot or maybe my form in my jeans, of course when I look at them with the raised eyebrow they quickly cough and turn away or pretend to be doing something important.

Hmmmmm I wonder what those sweet yummy things were thinking, besides how well I can shoot. Mmmmmmmm

I find that going to the range is good therapy, and it’s more therapeutic than going to a ‘shrink’. Hmmmmm I can understand when all those grown up men act like little iddy-biddies when they play paintball. But then they’ve never been really shot at. At least the one’s I’ve talked to.

Oh that sweet young thing that talked to me last year, we’ve been seeing each other as time permits, he’s such a sweet luscious thing, and even he’s trying the paintball game. Trying to get an idea on things.

(Snarl) I told him talk to a Vet who has been there, lost a leg, an eye! Whose face has been burned off, scared for life, saw their friends die. Anyone from Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Vietnam, Korea, even World War II !!

Last year I was at a Memorial Day Service, my best girl friend took me, her Grandfather was going to be at the services, he’s a 30 year man she said, retired only a few years ago, I was watching all these Majors, and Captains and Colonels there with all their service ribbons attached taking up much of the area over their hearts.

Sitting just in front of us were two 2nd Lieutenants, still green behind the ears, but looking so yummy in their uniforms, I was thinking of how I could seduce them, when out of the corner of my eye I saw this very elderly, thin, small man, so bent over, he was being helped by a younger woman, his daughter I think.

Quickly the Colonel who appeared to be in charge, came rushing down the platform to take the man’s arm but stopped short, straitened and saluted this small, thin elderly man, the little man straighten his back and saluted the Colonel. And as one all the officers on the platform saluted the little man in civilian clothes.

I overhead the luscious lieutenants wonder who was that little man for the Colonel and the others to carry on so, I stood up, leaned over them and said “Stand up and salute soldiers, that is a Medal of Honor Man!” Mmmmmm I just loved the embarrassed looks they had when they stood up and saluted.

Growl, I still smile when I think about that. What a brave little man, and being honest too, said he was scared, a young boy at that time. Now who was it that said “Courage is being scared but saddling up anyway.”


I skipped all the inaugural festivities, although it didn’t skip me, pooh! At my work, staff radios were turned up listening to the words. I focused on my work; words are only words when coming from politicians, its deeds that count, I wonder how quickly the honeymoon will be over when the critics raise their heads and start sniping.

Although my ears did perk up at his “unity” statement, an echo of FDR’s “we have nothing to fear but fear itself” and JFK’s “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country”, although I felt Obama’s phrase didn’t flow as well. Pooh!

Oh but how Boring when staff started talking about what a change he’s going to make, as if he can walk on water. Naughty, Naughty people, don’t start putting someone on a pedestal, you’ll only get hurt more. It’s dangerous to do that, Mmmmmm much too dangerous.

I watched the BBC news tonight instead of the usual local stations; I’m more interested in what they are thinking overseas. It gives me a much better perspective on things. Especially for my work.

Mmmmmmm I think I’ll take a nice yummy, luscious bubble bath tonight, with soft music and candles, I feel the need for romance.

Mmmmmmm I’ll think on Sam Spade, Steve McQueen or even Harry Callahan, “It’s the black bird Mr. Spade” “The stuff that dreams are made of.” Hmmmmmm I’ll talk about San Francisco another time. What a luscious, yummy but dangerous city.

1 comment:

Fram said...

I do stand in awe. Whether or not your resemblance is near to that of Mickey's wife is secondary (although I do whimper at the sight of Ava). It is the quickness of your mind and fingers as they translate your knowledge and thoughts to "paper" that (literally) amazes me.

For a few years, I participated in a forum sponsored by a number of newspapers around the country. It was called, "Hey, Martha," (or some-such). There was a young(?) lady who participated in that forum whose writing talent and style are reminiscent of your own. By chance, are you and she one and the same? If you are not, I am doubly amazed.

I also thought I would mention that during my one visit to San Francisco, I stayed at your "hang out," the Sir Francis Drake. Let me see, now. I also:

Walked on the Golden Gate and cruised under it. Resisted temptation to jump off of it.

Stormed the Haight-Ashbury district and laughed a lot.

Inspected China Town, but stuck to bacon-cheeseburgers.

Prowled Alcatraz, and spotted three ghosts as well as Clint Eastwood's shadow.

How was that?

My only souvenir is a key chain that says, "Warden – Alcatraz – The Slammer."

Finally, I enjoyed your commentary about the John Wayne stereotypes at the range. "You wanna watch me strut, baby?" I wonder if I do that?

I also loved your "war stories."

By the way, when you find the time, Beretta what? I'm basically a 1911 guy.