Beware, or I'll eat you alive.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sunday fun and revelations~~~~~~~~

What a lovely Sunday we had Sweet Things!

I was feeling in fine shape Sunday morning after Saturdays little excursion, so Mother and I went out for breakfast after church. I’m still not stable on my feet so I wore my low heels, and Mother and I took the precaution of wearing gloves what with the H1N1 virus going around, we didn’t want to take chances. We hadn’t received our flu shots yet, so we got ours today when we went to see my Doctor and I asked if my Mother could receive one as well. I would pay for it and it was done.

Well Sweet Things I am concerned what she might contract when she goes home on the train, not that one thinks of the train, more like airplanes, but still one cannot be too safe.

At our local Elks club they were offering a Vintage Fashion sale, proceeds to go to charity and Mother was in her element, I never saw someone so happy finding patterns and things that she could use, handing out her business cards and networking like an old pro. She had even packed a small snapshot portfolio of her work to show to those who were interested. I have a feeling that I’m going to be her “Bay Area Office” for her business. Well why not; she was even wearing one of her own creations that received a lot of compliments and she got several commissions. She saw one outfit that she bought, that included a jacket, vest, skirt and matching hat, just her size and she said that it will inspire her. Quite a little “go getter” my Mom, not the frightened mousy woman that I remembered from my childhood, such a wonderful change.

After such a busy day, I told her to not cook dinner, we would get take out and she wanted to sample the food from our favorite Chinese Restaurant, so phoning an order in and picking it up, we dined alfresco on my balcony overlooking the San Francisco Bay

It was a gorgeous warm Fall day with the sunlight so crisp and sharp, and hardly any wind on the balcony. Mother enjoyed looking out at the Bay and watching the sea gulls.

After dinner we came inside to have coffee, decaf for the both of us. Then I asked Mother something that had been on my mind for a while. I brought to her mind about how Dad treated her around the time that my Grandmother died and now the change in him, it all seemed too good to be real, was it real I asked her. She looked at me and said it was, she confirmed what Dad had told me, that the change within him had been coming on for a long time, starting with my initial rebellion when I went off to college.

Once his father’s influence was gone, only the ‘church’ of his father’s was holding him back, but he is not a man to keep blinders on his eyes, but it was hard for him to admit things. At least at first; the employee at work that was the son of one of his church members was one of the second breaking of his armor, what I had said to him that Holiday that seemed a long time ago, started everything crumbling and then her near breakdown, trying to defrost the old refrigerator, it all finally hit home.

Then Trixie the dog, found exhausted on their porch, Mother said that for Dad to make such changes was a profound awakening for him and one that she had to admit was very frightening for him and for her. But he saw things in a new light and he saw what he had become. “To re-discover Love” said Mother “to let go of all that you had been taught only to discover it was wrong and to understand how to balance one’s life has been the hardest experience for your Father, every day for him is one of discovery.”

She told me that thanks to information that baby sis came up with and my suggestions and my willingness to start all over again has made everything so much easier, and also discovering those societies that seek to preserve Art Deco and Art Moderne has helped a great deal in Father’s transformation. Mother told me that it helped her too, because she was and is not happy with the way society has become. By doing what she is doing and with all of them seeking ways to preserve elegance has been the best thing that could happen for all of them.

”Your Father sees you in a new and positive light” she said “and with everything that you’ve been telling him how to incorporate 21st century technology with elegance from bygone times, and showing your Father what is fine to accept and what is fine to reject, he’s been more comfortable with all the new things that are being created. Do you know he’s signed up for identity theft through his bank? Now he can keep a very close watch on his investments. That was a very big move for him to do, but with Ted and your sister’s help he can do it. He’s not afraid anymore.”

Mother said the last bit with a smile “The only thing is he will not drive on the Freeway, he’ll take the street roads instead, and I don’t blame him, the way people drive now a days would frighten me as well. But Ted and your sister don’t have that problem so we let them drive, your Dad and Ted in the front seat and your sister and I in the back, especially in one of Ted’s old cars. We love it when people see that old 1950’s Buick on the road.” It was good to hear Mom laugh and I felt better about what she said.

But I had to return to that incident that I saw as a child, Mother told me that later Dad had come to her and sincerely apologized to her, it was the first and only time he ever slapped her and he begged her forgiveness, “It was the only time in the early days of our marriage after you were born that he was ashamed of how he treated me, he never did that again and I forgave him. It was hard for him to unbend from all those years growing up in his father’s house, deep down I felt that in many ways he had to be like his father to gain his father’s approval. When he was courting me and in the first two years of our marriage he was not like the man that you had remembered from your childhood, he became that way because of his father.”

”The best thing that ever happened and I admit it’s unchristian to say this, but when his father died, it was the best thing for your Father. I’m sure you remember that elaborate funeral for your Grandfather, well all of that was pre-paid by your Grandfather, and your Father had nothing to do with it. Privately, after you were asleep, he told me that he was embarrassed by his father’s funeral, but he couldn’t do anything to change it. And if he did he felt that would embarrass him in the church.”

This was such a revelation to me, it took me several moments to try and process it. I told Mother that I owed Dad a very big apology, that I needed to continue to make amends to him. Mom smiled at me “Save it for Thanksgiving, when the two of you go on one of Trixie’s walks. Your Father is happy with how things are going now, and this will go towards a great deal of healing, it’s never too late to heal one’s heart. Your Father and I have been doing it every day of every hour of every minute, even when we come up against some little problem like the sink leaking, or the roof needing repair, it’s a joy” and Mom laughed again. I asked her why she was laughing and she said “I never thought being happy to work together to see a roof get fixed or a sink repaired could be such a wonderful occasion”

With that remark we both began laughing and hugging each other until tears came to our eyes, but they were happy tears. After we got ourselves composed again we went to the kitchen to pop popcorn and watched several DVD’s from the Universal Horror series, “Son of Frankenstein”, “The Wolfman” with Lon Chaney and “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” curled up on my couch and Mom from time to time remarking “I think I can do that dress, all I need is a photo”.

Mom and I rested yesterday after seeing my Doctor for a follow up exam and the both of us getting our flu shots. Today is our SPA day at the Claremont, then on Wednesday we’ll swing by this antique store where Mom purchase a complete set of 1950’s Samsonite Luggage dark blue with white trim almost brand new, where she will put her goodies in that she purchased Sunday, we’ll need to pick up luggage tags as well. I’ll hate to see her leave on Friday, but I know she misses Dad and her home, and I’m almost back up to par, considering I’ll be going back to work the following Monday, so it is time.

In a way Sweet Things, I’m itching to get back to work, get back into the routine of life, and now what with the train and land-line phones and such it’s so much easier for me to keep in touch with family. I’m loving the new found life I’ve discovered as well, and I’m so glad that it’s happened just at the right time. Mother did laugh at my Halloween tree, not that it’s very big and some of the old fashioned Halloween decorations that we found at this lovely old fashioned candy shop called the “Gaslight Emporium”, not too over done and easy to pack away. I have a couple of light up plastic pumpkins that I put out on Sunday, and I have a Harvest wreath that works well on the door for both Halloween and Thanksgiving. And I’ve bought candy too. So I’m all ready for the trick or treaters, I just hope it doesn’t rain on Halloween, but one cannot control the weather.

Mom just told me she’s ready to go and be pampered, and Lillian is at the door, so off we go for a day of beauty---even if it’s a bit cold and breezy out, Mother is thinking of Pumpkin Soup for a late night snack, and I have to agree.

Until Later Sweet Things, Kisses

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