Trying to get back to functioning~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

Things of late do not feel normal.  With Lillian gone, there is an emptyness that will take sometime to heal.

Having Heather in my home is the best therapy for her at this time. 

From time to time either her parents or one of her two Uncles stay in Lillian's home for security sake.

Lillian's will (a trust really) help make things move more easily,  at first Heather thought that eventually her grandmother's house would be sold, but instead, the house has been left to her parents, with equal value portions of money to her uncles.

This is good really, her parents had to sell their home at a loss, when her father was un-employed, so even with Lillian gone physically she is still reaching out and helping family.   Lillian left Heather a letter, a lovely long letter, Heather reads it every night before she goes to sleep.   It helps encourage her to continue with what she is doing.

But everything is going to shift slowly, everyone wanting to make sure everything is done right.

Baby Sis is going to come up and visit with me for a week, so Joe is going to retreat to his apartment for a while, as he says "one man in a house full of women is courtin' danger, if I leave the seat up all three of you will come down on my head".   That doesn't mean he'll stay away, but with only one spare bedroom there won't be much space.

I'm looking forward to seeing my sister.  I've taken the week of Halloween off as vacation, with so much of my work already edging over to my associates I can aford to play "Hooky".

But I have to admit, I'm feeling a bit lost without Lillian's presence,  now I must go,  Heather is asking when are we going to the Spirit Store to get a few Halloween decorations, I think we will both welcome that distraction and I need to buy candy for our eventual trick and treaters.

Kisses Sweet Things

Loss of a Friend~~~~

Dear Sweet Things,

As you know I said I would be blogging only on occasionally----sad to say this is one of them.

My dear, sweet, wise and funny friend Lillian, passed away 2 weeks ago.  Blessedly in her sleep at home.

We had gotten together for dinner her, I and her great-grand daughter Heather, we also snuck in the little "Beast" Baby in her carry all, and had a wonderful time exchanging what we were doing in our lives.

Heather is nearly complete in her studies and has decided to look into the more business aspects of art, perhaps as a conservator or historian but she is formulating her goals much better,   she's had some art work sell and bring in a nice bit of change to help with her finances.

I've been slowly turning over things at my work, and finishing up projects and coaching people on certain things.   My Bosses want me to come in on a consulting basis as an independent analyst, and set my own hours. 

Joe will be retired after January 1 of next year,  he said he wanted to help cover the holiday hours.

BUT~~~~~~~

The following morning Heather came running over to my home, crying.  She couldn't wake up Lillian.

I ran back with her, and found Lillian very cold to the touch and no pulse, but I said we need to call an Ambulance, even though I knew it would be futile.  At the hospital we were informed that she had indeed passed away peacefully in her sleep.   Her heart simply stopped pumping.

I thought that she looked a bit tired when we got back to her home the night before, she said she wanted to go to bed early, but she and Heather had hugged each other and said 'I love you',  then she looked at me and said "Take care of my Grand daughter, some day I might not be around"  and I promised her I would.

Heather has not been able to sleep in her Grandmother's house so I've had her and the little beast sleeping in my spare bedroom.   Her parents, uncles and aunts have attended to all the arrangements and Lillian had a splendid funeral,  many police officers current and retired were there, she was well loved.

And now it's the process of settling the estate.  It will be a slow and for Heather, a painful process,  I've talked to her parents and offered to have Heather stay with me for as long as she wants while she goes to college until she completes her education and decides what she wants to do in her life.

I have to admit and so does Joe, it is nice to have Heather and the little beast around, and it helps Heather, so she can heal.  We've had talks, long talks, it helps her process her grief.

And I've noticed recently her drawings and paintings have taken on a new subject Grandmothers and grandchildren.   She has some wonderful photos of Lillian so she's planning on taking special classes on portrait painting, I think so she can complete at least one of one special person.

Now I have to get use to a shift in my life, I miss Lillian's presence very painfully and I appreciate my phone calls to my parents and e-mails from them even more now.  Yes, Dad has finally succumbed to using e-mail, he says it cramps his hands a lot less than writing a letter, but I still send him and mother a card with a little letter in it to keep the personal touch.

Now the weather is beginning to turn colder, Halloween is coming, even though one loses a loved one life still goes on.  And we must endure.

Later Sweet Things.

A Major Happy Decision~~~~

Hello Sweet Things,


As you can see I have not been blogging for a while.

These last few weeks I’ve come to a decision and have decided to quit work, I have a very good income from my investments and a very loving man at my side.

What brought about this decision was recently I began to experience rapid heart beat, brought upon by stress. I value my health too much to jeopardize it.

No, I’m not going to desert Lillian or her great grand daughter; I will continue to live in my Bay Area home, enjoy my friends and my family. I will use my Home as a base of operations and watch my own personal investments and really ENJOY life.

I will take the train to visit my parents, baby sis and her future husband, I will continue to drive up to my country home and enjoy its own peace and pleasures. I’m planning on converting it to a historic home museum that can have caretakers living in it for years and years to come, it has serious historic value and I’m going to make sure it and the land around it can never be developed, to preserve its bucolic peacefulness forever.

I’m young enough to be able to make these decisions and to enjoy everything and everyone around me.

Joe has also made that serious decision as well, he is in the process of retiring from the force, he feels that it’s time, he’s fed up with the stupidity of politics and wants to focus his talents on finding missing children, he is going to be joining a private investigation firm. Frankly I’m happy for him. I was worried about the invisible target on his back every time he went on duty.

He will always keep his contacts with the force; even some of his friends are considering retirement as well and for the same reason. If we decide to move up to the country there is a possibility he can join part time the sheriff’s office up there.

This decision was really not hard to make, but it took something like being in the hospital for nearly a week and tests to discover what was wrong to help me make up my mind. No it is not congestive heart failure, it’s just stress. That I can assure you.

I will regret leaving my position at my work, but I know in my heart and mind it is the right decision. I cannot do it quickly as I have to set up things so that others can carefully take over for me. But it is the right choice-----

Because it’s now time for ME TIME.

I’ll most likely be blogging here sporadically, because I’m going to be busy enjoying life. I may even help out Mother and Baby Sis, looking for things and patterns, Hmmm never know what will develop.

Not really a bad decision to make.  I will not desert my City by the Bay, nor my search for "The Black Bird".  It's just that things have taken a turn that was slightly unexpected, but not unwanted.

So for now, to all of you Sweet and Darling Things, get out there and enjoy life, yes be careful, but enjoy life.

The Fabulous Diva is discovering the Simple things in life and feels so much better.

Kisses Sweet Things.

The Characters of San Francisco "Tales of the City"~~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

I have been busy with work, and life, I'm trying to make a serious decision about quitting my job.   Not that there is anything wrong with my job or the company I'm working for or the people I work with.  They are all wonderful.  But I've been considering having "ME TIME".  I have a very good independent income, I don't really have to worry about a depression, ression or whatever.

My needs and wants have been simplified by many things, I'm just thinking about making a move, not out of the bay area, but just "finding myself".  But I think after todays events leaving my job might be a good thing.

Joe is doing fine, so is my family, so are my friends.  So it's really within me, Joe said he will support any decision I make, because even he feels the same way as well as a number of his friends.  Perhaps I'll become involved in an organization dedicated to preservation, or go into a business for myself, I really don't know but I have time and plenty of funds.  So I'll think upon it.
I’ve been scanning the news and there is so much to consider and rant about I don’t know what to chose from, I think I would prefer local news, after all we all know what is happening and not happening that should happen nation wide and internationally.

Work has been a “bit insane”, my friend Yoshi and I, as well as several others feel that with our strange weather cool in San Francisco but blazing everywhere else, it brought out the ‘nut cases’ or as I prefer to call them “51/50’s”.  (Frankly I think anything will bring out the 'nut cases')

There were just too many incidences to even begin to tell you,  early this morning there was this man who said Yoshi was staring at him when she was really looking at me as we grabbed a cup of coffee at our favorite coffee stand this morning; of course this man was never in Yoshi’s line of sight as he was standing 5 feet behind her, then this crazy fellow said “everyone-is-staring-at! ME!’ so I said to him with an evil look on my face and in my best strange voice  “You better watch out, "   then I tilted my head and said to him ala Boris Karlof ‘they’re coming to get you Barbara’” and gave him my best wide eyed zombie star.

(I soooo loved the original “Night of the Living Dead” the one in black and white)
Well he spun away from me as if the demons from hell along with Cerebus were chasing him down the street.   We laughed when he  ran away. Ahhh but dear sweet Yoshi said “It can’t get worse.” It did.

 Several of us went out for an early lunch from work and this one man right off the street comes to our table accusing my fellow co-worker John of impersonating a police officer, and poor John was dressed in a business suit.  He kept ranting at John so I told John ignore him, and we pretended he didn't exist, the man kept yelling at John and we continued discussing what we wanted on the menu, until the wait staff brought a uniformed police man to our table who escorted him out.

But the finishing touch came this afternoon we were finishing up things early at work when there was a commotion just outside our conference area, we stopped what we were doing and went out into the main area and was surprised to see this naked man (not the same one from this morning) wearing only tennis shoes (they may have been Michael Jordan’s’) and a idiotic smile on his face, running through and around the office area, generally was frightening the younger women, then he made the mistake of bouncing up to me.

Ahhh sweet things I can be soooo evil; he stopped in front of me (which was his 2nd mistake, his first was being naked), I suspected he thought that I would blush or scream, but instead I slowly looked him up and down,  in my best imperialist manner and with my well-manicured nail, pointed to his shriveled magic wanger and said “Is that all you’ve got? That IS pitiful.” And laughed.

It was enough to totally throw him off stride so that Security captured and handcuffed him; I never saw such a deflated look on a persons face. After Security marched him away, to be arrested by the Police, Dan came up to me and said “Remind me to never get on your bad side.”
One staffer asked if they were doing a re-run of the “Bay to Breakers” run, I could only shake my head thinking that there maybe something strange  in S.F drinking water., Yoshi, reminded of the "Bay to Breakers" remark  told me that she was thankful that she seldom goes to see the Bay to Breakers Run, at first she enjoyed it for the clever costumes, and interesting floats, but after seeing 3 naked, overly fat men running who were in serious need of a Richard Simmons intervention, was enough to give her nightmares for weeks and swear off French fries. Poor Yoshi, all those jello rolls of fat ala Homer Simpson, I'm getting a queasy feeling thinking about it.

BART was running slow, there were some problems on one of the track lines, I overhead that there had been a shooting or a stabbing at one of the stations, it seems like something is happening at one of the stations,  if not some deranged person, then a suicide or Occupy S.F. or Oakland or a fire.
I was grateful to get home early, and relax for the weekend.  And thinking what to do for dinner
I just set my things down when I heard a noise just outside my door, opening it I discovered my elderly neighbor Lillian had dropped one of her shopping bags, fortunately it only contained can goods, so I helped her get her things into her home and told her to sit down while I put things away for her. She's lying down now on the couch resting, I took her blood pressure and it's good,  Baby the little beast is lying next to her.

She's invited me to dinner since Heather is visiting a friend,  and her slow cooker has made her wonderful stew, so I promised I'd be back to cook the rice,  after I do a mini-catch up on my blog.  Sweet Things I just love her zest for life, her overwhelming desire to learn new things, her mind just as sharp as ever.

And I know she is going to love my version of "Tales of the City", I just hope she doesn't laugh so hard that her drink doesn't fly up her nose, that would disasterous, but then I know she'll tell me an uproarious tale when her husband was on the Police force.  I'm looking forward to that.

So now I'll finish my blog, and look out my window to  the City by the Bay, and think upon all the characters that make up the City; about Mr. “they’re staring at me” and “the naked runner”, Millie the 85 year old woman who takes Polaroid pictures of people, the twins so identical to wearing the same outfits, the Bush man, Tommy the escape artist who escapes out of chains at the cable car turn table at fisherman’s wharf, the old man who rides the cable car playing “Camp town Ladies” on his harmonica while his dog ‘sings’, the elderly lady whose dog carries her purse (her dog is a Rottweiler ), Judy the Hooker who wears hot pink Daisy Dukes’ even though she’s 70 years old, and so many more, each one who does something to be distinctive in a gray city, to break out of the drabness of the world.

Each has their own niche, painted upon the psychic canvas of the City, some to be remembered for a long, long time, some who will become distant faded memories, like Emperor Norton, but all not quite forgotten as long as there is at least one person to remember them.

And now my sweet things dinner at Lillian's, a fun chat then to bed, to sleep, perchance to dream, sweet dreams to all of you.

Aurora, Colorado

Sweet Things,
I am horrified at the shooting that occurred in Aurora Colorado. From what I have been able to gather the shooter must be insane, may have never been in his right mind for a long time but over the years learned to cover his mental state very well.


Much like other serial killers, but he was a brilliant student, perhaps too much so, and then reached a point where he over reached himself and being without a mental safety net felt to be a complete failure. Since his field was to be neuroscience, it is possible that he thought this to be the ultimate science experiment.

Because of his mental state he may be found to be guilty by reason of insanity like the Unabomber and spend the rest of his life writing his “ultimate thesis” in solitary confinement.

He could legally buy guns because he was so under the radar that there was only one “blip” on him, a ticket for speeding. He never had a psychiatric evaluation and based upon the laws of the law was fit to purchase weapons.

Only two people realized that he was unfit, but because they were so wide apart and for them isolated the two parts were never fitted together as a warning although one of them could have warned someone.

That was his Mother, the first words she said was “that’s my son, I have to go there” (I’m paraphrasing) she knew, she knew something wasn’t right.
The other person was a gun club owner, the shooter had applied to become a member, the owner called to leave a voice message about the orientation meeting they have to have before being finally accepted although his application said that he didn’t do drugs or was involved in any criminal activity. But when the gun club owner heard the shooters outgoing message, he described it as “bizarre, guttural (freaky)” he left two messages but told staff to watch for this person at the orientation meeting (which the shooter never attended) and to Not permit him membership---he was rejected because of bizarre behavior.

But the two persons never connected---the Mother most likely thought her son was under pressure, the gun club owner thought he was dealing with a nut case that wasn’t going to show up. But why oh why didn’t the parents question $15,000 dollars worth of purchases. Where did he get the gas canisters?

Joe feels that the shooter had been planning this for some time even before the two months that he got his guns, and ammo, he was already insane long, long before the shootings. Why did he leave the PhD program, because he thought he’d be killed or arrested? I think so.
Both Joe and I feel that even with all the laws in place and if all the gun control laws were working this shooting could Not have been prevented---it was going to happen one way or another.
The shooter was brilliant but insane, like the criminals in the Batman films all of them brilliant but insane. The most brilliantly insane one---The Joker.
And with that this shooter slipped into his insane world, he’ll never come out of it.
Heather and I went to the blood drive that was being held in a nearby church yesterday, it was the least we could do.

But I was feeling woozy and light headed when I returned home, I had been working so hard these last few weeks at work because of all the uproar in Europe and the Middle East, I felt I was living in my office. Now with Syria’s situation things are going to be very tense.


Joe got off duty and took pity on me and picked up dinner for us, and insisted that I eat. I felt like I wanted my mind to be numb so he surprised me with Season 88 and 89 of the “New Mission Impossible”, with fans on rotating their coolness (I don’t have air conditioning in my home, not needed for this area) and chilled Crystal light lemonade, he indulged me, he does know what I want.

Hot in the Country, cold in the city

Hello Sweet Things,

Once again it's Friday the 13th OOOOooooooo (scary sound), and I can happily say that nothing so far (knock on wood) bad has happened.

I made use of my long weekend off and went to check my country property and it is fine, but everything around the property is dry, dry, very dry.  My caretakers and I did a lot of brush clearing to make sure there would be defensible space and I am so glad I had the underground sprinkler system installed, it will help keep the grounds wet enough.  

But with a determined fire even that may not be enough to hold anything off.  The goats have been very helpful in keeping a lot of undergrowth under control, and all the milk they produced too.  My caretakers are also small holding farmers, in exchange for living on the property and taking care of it they can raise and sell crops and small farm animals and they are working in conjuction with a 4 H program and our local historical society working together to show what and how an old fashion farm works.

I was surprised to see a cow added to the stable as well as two horses, they told me that some of the fields are plowed using the horses when they do demonstrations.  There was something very comforting to see these two horses, Billy Jo and Bobby Jo  in the corral.  Buddy the dog goes right up to them and sometimes will fall asleep right in either one or the other's stall and they seem to like his company.

Fortunately I do not have to pay for any of their vet bills my caretakers are taking care of that.

But I went over with my caregivers a plan of evacuation in case there is a serious fire.

It has been very warm at the country place and I am so glad that the fire near Colfax is far, far away. 

Waking up in the morning to a rooster crowing, then having breakfast in the kitchen while a hen comes wandering in from outside looking for bits of bread crumbs, not being content with the feed and bugs she might find outside.

Sunday we went to the store and bought boxes of jars for canning, not that I'll be around to do the canning but my caretaker's wife is going to be doing it along with a number of the 4 H youngsters,  but then again I just might run up here just to get involved.

And now for this last week I've been back at work, a heavy marine layer has been making San Francisco the coldest city during the Summer, in a way I don't mind it, having two places to stay helps me balance my mind and my energies.  

I went in early to work today, just blasting through the paperwork,  taking the ferry home, now at this computer relaxing.   Joe will be off duty in a little while if he's not overloaded with paperwork, and I don't feel like cooking, hmmmm I guess it will be take out tonight and a fireplace burning to keep warm, unless it's a spare the air night, I'll have to check.

I've not had a chance to do much traveling so far this year, work and things have kept me home mostly, the family is doing well, so I hope to be able to go down and see them in a month or two,  and I'll take the train, my favorite mode of travel.

Hmmm I thought I was going to be wicked, devilish and instead I've become a homebody,  maybe.   Maybe it's time to see about going through the streets of San Francisco, in search of the elusive black bird, maybe it's something else,  I think I'm restless again.  I shall have to do something about that.

Do you like the picture,  sometimes Buddy the Dog can be like that.

Kisses Sweet Things

I"m Still Alive~~~

Short and Sweet  Sweet Things,

I'm still alive, still very busy,  I'm taking the rest of the week off to check on my property up in the country.

Heather and Lillian have gone to the parade, I'll be joining them, they have a spot saved for me and at least it's a short walk to the parade route, Joe has pulled duty today.

He's put in for retirement, much to my relief.  He's not going to be lazy, no, he does have another job lined up in private investigation and security.  But at least I don't have to worry about him as much.  However it will take a little time for the whole retirement process to go through.

I was sad to hear of the passing of Andy Griffith,  I've been able to catch re-runs of both his shows and enjoyed them.

But for now it will be fried chicken, corn on the cob, cole slaw, potato rolls, parades, fireworks and everything in between, then back to the gym for me after I gain several pounds.

Kisses, Sweet Things and have a Happy 4th of July.