Of chilly weather and doggie shots~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

What a hectic week!!!  I'm not going to even get into it, but it has been insane, I am so glad I said I wasn't coming in today after putting in 12 and 14 hour days this past week.   And all because the company wanted to use a new system.

I pity the I.T. folks, there was one guy who I think even slept in the office just to be close by in case the system blew up.

I am so glad that I am out of this mess except for being an independent consultant although my former boss is asking if I'd re-consider, told him sorry sweetie, I'm my own lady now.  Because if I was working for the company again I'd be camping out here.

And the couch in the staff  coffee break room is not that comfortable.  Not that we ever took our coffee breaks there mostly just to make and get coffee, COOOOFFFFEEEEEE wonderful, warm tasty drug of choice.

I am so looking forward to Saturday to the Chinese New Year Street Fair and Parade, for some reason many Asian family are making this new year a really big deal,  Yoshi came by my home and gave me an eight sided mirror to put up next to my front door.  "Keep bad things away" she said.

Well I am all for keeping bad things, very bad things away.  If my 9 mm Beretta can't handle it, then I am in serious trouble.

Joe is pushing me to get my CC permit, it's no problem for me to get the one at the gun show, when they offer the class, but getting one here in California, with our wimpy sheriff, that is a whole different  animal.

But I will at least get the Utah one.  And see about the other.  Because of the long hours I was putting in he insisted on picking me up at work, I wasn't going to argue with him.   There are times when to argue with a man and there are times when its best not to and this was one of those times to exercise the latter.

Last week was so wonderfully warm and now this week, freezing cold, damaged my plants that I had on the balcony,  I had to get out my vintage mink jacket  (I said vintage to all you PETA freaks)  the beasts have been dead for over 20 years, they are not complaining and keeping my alabaster body warm to and from work was important on my mind, that and coffee.

I guess you could say I am a bit cranky, well I am, but maybe a weekend of fun will turn my mood around.

Although today is a "catch up day", catch up on groceries, catch up on laundry, catch up on errands,  am taking an at home break, since I've been up at 6 a.m.  Then I'm going to take Heather and the little beast called Baby to the Vet.  It is time of the beast's distemper and Bordtella shots and getting the little creatures' nails trimmed. Heather was going to pay for it but I told her to save her money for art supplies I would take care of the costs for the 4 legged rug rat, which I'm somewhat fond of.   The little thing has taken a serious bonding to Heather after Lillian passed away,  Heather has painted several water colors of the little thing looking at flowers and butterflies, some of them very amusing, she's trying her hand at possible greeting card illustrations and is building her portfolio.  

And it seems she has a young gentleman in her life now, he's just a friend studying art as well but more of art photography although he hopes to pursue a career in photo journalism, but he says he will do whatever it takes to pay the bills.  I've seen them on the beach in recent weeks, she painting he taking pictures and the dog in several sweaters all bundled up in its carry all with them.  Heather still misses her Grandmother, but he seems to be taking some of the sting of the loss out of it.

For that I'm glad.   I've ask them if they want to come with me to the celebrations they said they are going but will make their own way, I think he wants to do a lot of photo taking.  I hope they have fun.  Heather needs it.

And speaking of Heather she is at my door.

Kisses Sweet Things

Rain--Cars---and Dogs (well one dog)

Hello Sweet Things,

I am feeling decidedly “House Bound”, Joe agreed with me that I do need some sort of vehicle if I suddenly need to just get out, so to reputable rental agency we went and I’m now set up with “a car”, it’s tiny, it cost the least to rent, it gets good gas mileage, it’s clean and it runs. Is it my style??? Nooooooo, but one needs to do what one must.

I’ve been in touch with my caregivers at my country house, they are doing fine, Buddy the dog is doing fine, the house and land is doing fine, no flooding, no land slides, it is hard to get around, the roads are icy, but carefully passable. Once things dry out they can assess what might need to be worked on that might have been damaged by all the snowy weather.

My services for Jury Duty was not needed, I’m free for another year, although the idea of serving on a jury would have been an interesting distraction after all the sad news about Japan, the destruction by our own storms, the loss of the Beautiful Elizabeth Taylor and the interesting Geraldine Ferrao and my “headaches” in finding a car I really like. Poohh!!

Hunting for a new car with Joe is proving to be informative as well as frustrating, and after comparisons with Popular Mechanics, Consumer Reports April issue, talking to the various sales personnel with a “laser-like” questionnaire, I currently am looking at the Elantra, although I was tempted to purchase a brand new 2010 VW Jetta that has sat at this dealer ship like a “Garage Queen” as Joe refers to it.

According to the sales person it was a special order exterior and interior in a Cream color, but when it was delivered the purchaser never picked it up, even though they had put a sizable down on it. A mystery. But Joe suspects it might have been for someone in an illegal business. Of course he is entitled to be suspicious. Although he is pushing me to look at the Dodge Challenger---why a muscle car? It’s a “guy thing” I think.

However Joe, rightly, insisted testing other makes, but there was something about this car, well I did test a few more, but when I went back this last Sunday to test the Jetta again it had been sold. Oh well it wasn’t meant to be.

And right now there maybe delays in getting whatever car I choose because of the situation in Japan, it only emphasizes the idea that too much outside of the U.S. the manufacturing of necessary parts can cripple our nations economy, it would be in the U.S.’s best interest to set up factories here to back up those in Japan or not be dependent on what Japan or any other foreign country manufactures that is necessary to the product. Globalization has its limitations when one sees how a crisis of such proportions can damage our financial structure. By bringing it back to the U.S. we’ll be adding jobs to the job market. I wonder if “they” will see that.

Several of my blog followers have asked how I’m doing after my accident, I still occasionally have slight headaches, the ringing in the ears is gone, my back sometimes doesn’t want to do what I would like it to do, had more X-rays, but my Doctor thinks it’s more muscle stress than anything and has recommended a massage therapist. I tried one that was recommended to me, oh it was heavenly! I am definitely going back for another, and maybe another.

I’ve been going to the gym, being careful on the type of workouts I do to make sure I don’t strain something, swimming has been very good for my cardio, being in the water is just so relaxing, an “out of body” experience for me.

The Headaches will eventually fade away, but they seem to appear when I’m under stress, I hope they do not become a permanent thing.

And Stress appears to be on the menu for now, work mostly. Too many things in upheaval. The Middle East, the horrible devastation in Japan, it is affecting us in oil and gas as well as the economy. We are watching the Japan Market right now; it is a very serious roller coaster. The very serious trouble with their nuclear energy plants, we’ve been following the updates on the reactors and it’s frightening. Those 50 brave souls staying on, risking their lives for everyone else.

Yoshi is raising funds to help out with the survivors, Joe and I have contributed as well as quiet a number of staff. I can’t imagine the sorrow, fear and deprivation that they are going through, my heart goes out to them as it does to the Haitian survivors. Each day that I listen to the news, it’s horrible and I read in the New York Times the horror stories and tremendous personal family loss of the survivors, it’s heartbreaking, my prayers go out to all the people of Japan.

To those of you who wish to help you can make donations through these organizations:
Americares.org this goes to medicine and medical supplies
Savethechildren.org donations go to help the youngest victims
Globalgiving.org this goes towards relief and emergency services
And you can contact your local Red Cross to see how they are accepting donations for their international branch.

I am so relived my assistant is back, she’d been very ill with that horrible flu that flattens you for weeks; she is proving to be invaluable, running interference for me when she sees I’m developing another headache, gets me coffee, tea or aspirin with barely a whisper from me, she even used her lunch hour to put together a first aid kit, with alka seltzer, band aids, antibiotic cream, Tums, and other necessary nostrums and aids for the ill. Definitely a Team Player, there are some classes and seminars that are coming up that I’d like her to go to, they will increase her value, to the point that I might lose her but she seems to want to stay and learn as much as she can and move up on her own merits. She will go far.

I have a rant that I’m going to post later but right now I’m going to hold off on it, “ranting” requires getting my blood up and doing that right now will bring on a headache.

On the Home Front, Heather, Lillian’s great-grand daughter has a little guest, a 4 legged guest, and after last night I know a permanent 4 legged guest. Heather was walking to catch her bus from the campus a couple of weeks ago, when she saw these 4 boys tormenting a small Chihuahua type dog, running up to them and scooping up the dog she demanded to know which one was the owner. None of them owned up to it. She went up and down the houses and few apartments in the area, no one knew the dog, it’s collar was missing, she told the boys that she was going to take the dog to a vet and get it checked out to see if it had a chip and if she saw them tormenting another animal she was going to call the police.

The next day she took it the a vet to see if it was chipped, no chip, then she took a picture of it and posted the flyers in the area where the dog had been found and even a little further out. She’d been calling the animal shelters and mailing flyers to them as well, out of all of this she got one call from a lady who asked if she could come by and see the dog last night.

Both Heather and Lillian had grown fond of the little beastie, even I have been charmed by it, but if this was the owner, they had no choice, they were going to have to surrender the dog; I was there last night when the lady came by with her husband or boyfriend in tow. The woman looked scared and the man looked vile, not a “nice” person. The little thing seemed to know the lady as she picked it up and it gave happy little licks to her cheek, suddenly she put the dog into Heather’s arms and asked her what she was going to do with the dog, Heather said that she and her grandma had become fond of it and if no owner was found they would keep it.

I saw the lady give a little sad smile and said that it wasn’t her dog and said to Heather “Take good care of Baby” she and the man left Lillian’s house, I stood at the door and before I closed it I saw him give the woman a shove snarling at her “You’re smart, now no dog! Don’t think about asking for it back! Stay here, don’t move! I’ll get the car!” He wasn’t aware that I had heard him or saw what he’d done, his tone made me mad and as soon as he was out of sight I went to her and gave her my business card telling her “Call or e-mail me if you’re in trouble or need help” she gave me a look and I said “My boy friend is a police officer if you need help we can help you get to a safe place, now hide that card.” She nodded and looked relieved.

Just in time she tucked the card away before he drove up, he growled at me and demanded to know why I was there and I said “I just wanted to keep her company while you got your car; some times it’s not safe no matter where you are.” He gave an angry nod at me as she got into the car then drove off breaking rubber. At that moment I wanted my Beretta, I felt he was one scum bag the world would be better off without.

I returned to Heather and Lillian, who was stretched out on the couch with the little beast on her lap. Heather asked me what that was all about, I said “That, I think, was the owner, she gave up the dog once she knew it was safe, I think she even told you it’s name, Baby” with that the little thing stood up and wagged it little tail.

So with Mocha Almond ice cream we celebrated a new member to the family and a happy ending to the little one’s tale (or is it ‘tail’) of woe. Would that there were more happy endings like that.

Until later Sweet Things, I will keep you informed of my car hunt, although I’m getting quite use to the routine I’ve developed, but the freedom that an automobile can bring cannot be denied.

Kisses.

A dog in one's life~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

Life has a way of thrusting things into my sphere of life, be it adventures, problems, good friends, family events or things that seem to develop for some reason that’s unknown to me~~~at least at this time.

I have traveled up to my country house and had a very nice, relaxing and fun Valentine’s weekend, enjoying the town’s Valentine’s Dance and the Fireman’s Valentine’s Fund raising Pancake Breakfast---they add 7-up to the batter, for some reason it makes it fluffier.

Laughter, catching up with events and people, finding things for the house, enjoying the peace of the area.

And a dog.

In my last blog I told you that when I arrived there was a stray dog on the front porch that my caretakers were not familiar with, but the next day Hal took another look at the dog and said he thought it might belong to an old man who lived on the other side of town, a bit of a recluse in his old age, but he’d come into town from time to time as he needed things in his old truck and a big dog that “rode shoot-gun”.

But what puzzled him is if it’s that same dog why so far away from home? I said that maybe we can find the answer at the Vet’s, I had called earlier and the receptionist said to bring the dog in, the Vet had a very light day for a change she said.

At the Vet’s office we were surprised when the receptionist upon seeing the dog said “Buddy!!! Where have you BEEN!!?” came over and rubbed his head and the dog responded very affectionately. The Vet came out and confirmed that it was Buddy, the old man’s dog.

As sad story in a way, the other day a sheriff’s deputy was doing a standard-welfare check on the old man, it was the deputy’s habit to stop by the fellow’s place every day, especially in the winter time, the old man was over 90 years old and the historical society had made arrangements for the daily check since the elderly fellow had no living family.

The deputy found the old man dead on the back porch from a heart attack, the dog no where to be found, supplies in the back of the truck, but the house was locked. The deputy found strange human foot prints and believed that the old man and his dog had frightened off trespassers and the dog must have chased them for a long time, being so far away from his home the dog wandered around and somehow came to my house.

The Vet told us that Buddy was voice trained so if Buddy ran after any trespassers and the old timer was unable to call out Buddy would have kept after the strangers until exhausted and lost. Somehow the dog must have thought that my house looked familiar and went to the shelter of the front porch until we let him in.

Hal remembered that the old man did come to the house a few times with the dog, delivering old time farm and ranch equipment for the barn for the historical displays, and the dog would romp around the place.

The Vet gave Buddy a through checkup and told us what he is suppose to have, so Josie made arrangements to pick up Buddy’s things and it looks like we have a dog.

The Vet offered to have Buddy bathed, since he had volunteers arriving in a few minutes and we could pick Buddy up later in the afternoon, that way he could also run some blood tests as well to be on the safe side although he pretty much was healthy. I said I would pay for the bill since this was a special case.

The question came up who would be the legal owner of the dog? Josie, Hal and I looked at each other, I could see that Josie would like to have the dog, so then I said, “All three of us” and was happy to see the relief on Josie’s face.

As Hal and Josie left to get Buddy’s things, I said I would walk around the town and would contact them by the cell phone to let them know where I was. We all had planned to come into town anyway for groceries and things and I wanted to look in the antique shops again to see what could be added to the house.

Bit by bit we are having it go back to the 1880’s which isn’t too hard to do, much of what was found in the attic and in the barn could be used, and some pieces were being refurbished but still there was a thing here and a thing there I wanted to add, especially in my Bedroom.

Josie had suggested that I look at an old treadle sewing machine at one of the shops that was in excellent condition, she thought it would look very nice in the very small room to the back of the house, she remembered her Grandmother-in-law saying that way back when it was the sewing room because it got such good light, to keep it warm there was a very small stove and a pot of hot water for tea was always on it, and we had found the vent in the room for the stove and the old stove in the barn, so I suggested that we re-install it, and that did seem right for it to be the sewing room since the cedar lined linen closet was just off of it.

Not only was the sewing machine just right, there was also an antique dress maker’s dummy, so I bought them both, and made arrangements to have Hal pick them up later in the week.

They called me on my cell and we met at the coffee shop for lunch, and there I discovered that word traveled fast about the dog and us. More than once someone came up to us saying they were glad we found the dog and was going to adopt it. Josie told me that she found Buddy’s food, and such and his bed but wanted to wash the bedding at the Laundromat and Hal bought some flea spray and was going to spray the basket while the bedding was washed.

I told them what I had purchased, so after lunch we went back to the shop and Hal set the date and time to pick up the large items while the smaller things I bought were packed in the SUV. Grocery shopping was next, and while we were at the store we ran into some of the historical society board members, they were going to take care of the old man’s funeral arrangements, he left his house to the society with the proviso that anything of value or historical interest be used for the museum or the exhibits that will be set up at the house, fortunately they were not interested in selling the house but instead will rent it out to a family who can maintain it and the income of the rent will pay for taxes and upkeep until they can decide what to do.

We picked up Buddy next and he looked wonderful and ready to go, so with just a few voice commands he took up his space as “shot gun” Josie said to me, “I’ve been displaced!” but Hal with a few words told Buddy to go to the back seat, and he joined me resting his massive head on my lap. Looking at his size I was glad that more food was bought for him.

That evening after dinner we went to the Valentine’s Dance, Buddy came along and was a perfect ‘gentleman’, lying down under the table out of the way and occasionally getting a tidbit from someone. Josie said to me we might have digestion problems during the night---but we didn’t.

I had my share of dances with various partners including one 8 year old boy who appears to have crush on me, I’m going to have to be gentle with him until his attention turns to another girl or cars.

We got back tired but happy, and Buddy was once again in his old sleeping bed, his familiar things with him, but I noticed during the night he’d walk around the house checking things, even coming into my bed room, since I have a habit of opening the door after I’ve dressed for bed, some how it felt very reassuring. And he was a good boy, no accidents.

The next morning dawned a bit gray and cold but the Pancake breakfast was a success, such a huge turn out, and again word had traveled around that Buddy had a new home. At the house I noticed that he seem to prefer being around Josie which was fine since I would only be coming up only now and then, I suspected because Josie is the “food maker” and with his sleeping bed under the kitchen table he can lay there close by the delicious smells of food.

Monday was a relaxing day, I put some of my new purchases for my bedroom up and Hal and I walked about the property to see what to do next, Buddy came with us checking on this and that and seeming to fit in with the place.

Afterwards I felt a bit tired and took a nap, since dinner wasn’t going be on for a few hours but the house bit by bit is coming together as it looked when it was a working place, so not only will we live in it but it is also ready for tours for the season. One thing we replaced esd the stove, the original stove is sitting in the barn waiting to be worked on, and it will go into the smaller foreman’s house, and be used for living history demonstrations, but we replaced it with a more modern one that was rebuilt that uses gas and is also a wood burner, one of the areas for major renovation is the kitchen it had gotten a modern work over in the 70’s but doesn’t look well, fortunately there are some old snapshots showing the old kitchen before the 70’s re-do and we can use those photo’s to re-adapt the kitchen back to it’s original style but with some modern things; we still have to have a way to hide the dish washer. But the pantry room which now looks dreary, we discovered was at one time quiet bright, some how a window got covered up so we are going to restore that as well and we'll put the refrigerator into the pantry area as well, since we discovered that it had been partitioned.

Plans lots of plans.

Hal and Josie e-mailed me saying that Buddy has settled in real well, but when they went back to the old man’s house, Buddy looked around and whined, Josie thinks Buddy is missing his old master. Not knowing what to do she found an old flannel shirt that belonged to the man and placed it in the SUV and Buddy seemed to settle down with that.

They told me that the Historical Society has made arrangements with a retired military vet and his wife to stay in the house to maintain it and keep vandals away, until they can go through and catalog everything and move anything valuable out to a safe location. And they will help the Society with things.

Right now I’m back in the Bay Area coming back on Tuesday Morning and driving directly to work seemed to be the right thing to do. And I caught up with everything,

It will be a while before I go back again, a lot of things to do here and family events.

It’s cold right now as I write this, I’m tempted to start a fire in my fireplace but I need to see if it’s an O.K. day to have a fire first. My friend Janet called me and wants to do something together, she’ll be here any minute, so we’ll decide what to do.

Lillian is still visiting her sons, I had a nice chat with her last night and she’s doing well.

But this cold just creeps into the bones. I will be so glad when Spring finally gets here, although some of the trees are blossoming and Yoshi and I are planning to once again go to the Chinese New Year’s Parade, that means layering on the clothing and be prepared for rain.

Janet is here, time to go.

Kisses, Sweet Things.

Happy Valentine's Day~~~

Hello Sweet Things,

I'm here at my country home, snow and cold but I'm enjoying it.

I've had a chance to see the new handicapped ramp that's been installed, the Historical Society board members are glad that I've installed it. And a member of the society who is wheelchair bound volunteered to try it out and it met with her approval.

The feedback that I've received is that they enjoy holding their meetings in my home, than in the dreary meeting area that's now being fixed up.

So I've been asked if it's possible to hold their meetings there on a more semi-permanent basis, my caregivers who are members at large with the group have told me they have no problem with it, but since it's my home, it's my decision.

Frankly with the liability agreement in place I see no harm, bit by bit the place is slowly looking like itself back in the 1880's so maybe they should meet here.

So I'm spending the weekend here, and driving back Tuesday morning. The silence here is amazing, I do feel like I'm in another world, and it's healing.

They are holding a Valentine's Day Dance tomorrow night at the Hall, and Sunday is a Valentine's Breakfast at the Firehouse, proceeds to go to Haitian Relief.

I've also been in contact with my renters at my other house and they are in a position to buy the property from me, that sounds good, as much as I like the other house I'm not as bound up in it as I am with this one, I'll work the details out with my lawyer who handles real estate law.

I'll make a little profit, not much, just enough to pay off any capital gains tax. And then I have to figure out a way to re-invest my money.

A strange thing happened earlier this evening, a stray dog was on the front porch when I arrived, I thought that maybe my care takers had adopted one but that was not the case, they never saw it before. Poor thing just as they opened the door he went in like a flash and settled himself in front of the fireplace.

Once we got the situation about the dog cleared up, we didn't know what to do, so I said "let the poor thing sleep in the kitchen for now well figure it out in the morning, it seems house broken, asked to be let out and then came back in.

It appears to be a shepard mix he has the shepard head and ears and the long tail, large body but his hair is longish and brindle colored, we don't have the heart to take it to the animal shelter, so we'll post a found ad in the papers, maybe someone will claim him. In the mean time I'll take him into the vet for a check up and maybe any shots that might be needed. No collar, no tags, but there might be a chip embedded. We can hope.

Josie, one of my caretakers, found a nice thick clean old blanket and a bowl for water, he ate good tonight, some beef stew and rice, but he's not getting real beef all the time, he's getting Alpo tomorrow or something, I'll see what the Vet recommends. He may even know the dog.

Right now he's lying at my feet while I type, on occasion he gets up to see where Josie or her husband is. I think he's trying to figure out who is the "pack leader", he knows that Josie is the food maker.

It's strange but I feel sort of protected with this "big boy" around. I hope we can find his owners.

Now I feel tired, so to bed, and sleep to unravel the cares of the world.

Kisses Sweet Things

More about family at Easter~~~

Well Sweet Things, I've been to the Range and "Baby" worked beautifully, I now haver her waiting to be cleaned, which I will do this evening, but I'm going to go to the Claremont for a breakfast treat and a spa treatment, then tonight I willl get into "zen mode" while I'm taking care of "Baby".

Baby sis called me last night and told me what the plans were for Sunday with Mom, so I'll call her tomorrow evening to wish her "Happy Mom's Day", but tomorrow I'm treating Lillian to Lunch, her children all live out of state so she has been receiving cards and some will call tomorrow evening to talk to her, so it's my treat for her.

Some of you have asked me to post more on what happened with the family while I was down there for Easter.

Thank goodness for flashdrives for saving my memories because a lot happened. What I'm posting is what occured on Thursday the day after I arrived and a lot was revealed to me about Dad's (yes, Dad) tranformation, it was really a long process in happening but sometimes a jolt is what one needs to make it happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I slept soundly Wednesday night and woke up the next day to music, classical music. Baby sis was up and dressed already, and pointed out the clock radio, “You like it?” she asked, and I did. I quickly showered, dressed and joined everyone for breakfast.

Mother and baby sis dashed off to do errands. Father and I took our time slipping our 2^nd cups of coffee, I saw the new refrigerator, just like the old one but as I opened it up to put back the cream, and I could see the difference. I also saw the new dish washer with a front that blended into the style of the kitchen.

Trixie waited patiently and once in a while got a bit of toast dipped in coffee from Father. He looked at me guiltily saying “I don’t know if it’s good for her but…” I said I would check into it for him.

Father finished his coffee, stood up, grabbed Trixie’s leash and asked “Want to walk with me?” so I joined him. We walked slowly around the block while he pointed out this house or that building and told me what was happening, how the neighborhood was improving and getting better.

My Parents house stands on a corner on a deep lot. Traffic can sometimes be busy even though the streets at tree lined and look residential, it’s one short block off of a busy commercial area, which in many ways is good, it’s only a one block walk to the connecting bus lines, a chain pharmacy, grocery store, dry cleaners, shoe repair and other businesses that are essential to a community.

But one has to strain a bit to see the back side of the businesses, the trees from the rear of the old Victorian houses hides much of it so that one forgets that there’s a business area so close, but I noticed as we returned to the house that three of the old Victorians that use to be apartments now contained light businesses, a couple of lawyer offices, dentist and such, things that wouldn’t make much traffic.

Dad sat down on one of the wicker chairs on the porch; even they were a new addition.

Keeping Trixie on her leash, he calmed the little dog down when she saw a cat, “She’d chase every cat she saw if she could, can’t let her out the front of the house without a leash”. Father and I talked about this and that, he asked me about my work and I asked him about his, then I said that I hadn’t really noticed before that the Victorians were now businesses, Father looked at them and said “Yes, each apartment was converted over into business offices as each tenant left, it at least preserves the buildings. It’s been happening the last 20 years.” Then he looked at me and said “I own them”.

He saw the surprise on my face and motioned to me to come with him into the house, “Let me explain in the den and then you can help me with some decisions.”

I was still digesting this bit of information as he took Trixie off the leash and walked into the den, with Trixie close on his heels.

He sat at his desk and I sat next to him, he brought out a large file, in it he showed me all his holdings, “There’s a photocopy place and we can make copies of this for your own information, I’ve also included my account numbers and passwords” he continued to inform me that Mother and baby sis knew about this file and how important it is, he also showed me his copy of his trust directives.

Then he told me how he got started in this, he bought the first old Victorian just before baby sis was born, but plowed all the income from it towards paying it off quickly, then when it was paid off, saved some cash and bought the next, then the next one and other investments. Father was a wealthy man; even with the difficult economy he had made his purchases when they were financially feasible.

His income was such that making all the changes and improvements on the buildings and now in the house were not a hardship, he had so much set aside and a very sufficient income besides his salary from his job.

He designed his trust so Mother would be well off financially if he predeceased her and then after, when Mother passed away things divided between baby sis and myself, she would get the family home and one of the three Victorians and I would get the other two with everything else divided equally between us, but I asked him to change that and said to give her the two Victorians plus the family home and I just get one, and we can divide everything else evenly as he listed.

Father wondered why I would prefer that and I said that it’s possible she will get married and have children, that raising children is not cheap, especially with college and everything.

Father looked at me and asked “You’re not planning to get married?” and I said no, and explained to him my thoughts on things, I had gone so long without the idea of marriage and the fact I had not come across the right man, even though I’m dating, that I felt that it was not essential for me to be married, that I had become what is known as a ‘careerist’. I also told him about my two recent income purchases. After hearing how I had made the purchases he approved my choices and my reasons behind it.

Then I asked him point blank “Father are you ill? Is that one reason why you’ve been doing all these things?” He looked at me for a long time and finally said “Not in body or health, but I was for a long time sick in mind and soul, only I hadn’t realize it until these last 2 years. What you said at church and then to me last Christmas, finally convinced me that I was in danger of losing you, your sister, even your Mother.”

He revealed to me what had influenced him at a young age and what was slowly bringing about a change in him which culminated last Christmas.

The story is long and really deals with him trying to please his father and his grandfather, and not being true to that which is inside of you. After his father had died he kept doing what he was doing out of a sense of duty, but after I left for college he questioned more and more if what his father and grandfather had taught him was right; because of this he became more and more afraid of change, it twisted him and pulled him until he became bitter.

I said that it couldn’t have been just what I said, and he said that it was the jolt he needed, that he felt such a tremendous dis-satisfaction with everything, he even accidentally over heard some of the staff referring to him as a tyrant and a happiness killer, this bothered him internally.

Over 2 years ago a new person started working at his office, the son of one of his church’s parishioners; this man, Andrew, had left my Father’s church a number of years before and Andrews’ father said, when asked, that his son was dead.

Father asked Andrew, to join him for lunch one day, and brought up what Andrew’s father had said. Andrew was very honest with my Father and told him about his spiritual revelation about God, he left the church of his father and joined the Episcopal Church, and it was there he met his future wife. Andrew said he continues to check in on his father, even though his father barely acknowledges him, but does it out of a sense of duty and to make sure that his father is taken care of. Andrew said he could never turn his back on him, it wasn’t right.

Father has been meeting Andrew for lunch once a week to talk about things, and Father began to realize what had happened to himself, but wasn’t sure how to make a change, and then when I stood up in church and shocked everyone, he realized that he was losing everything that really mattered. He realized that he was a mental abuser. It was his epiphany.

But he wasn’t sure how to go about beginning over, the confrontation that we had last December made him fear my anger at him and what he had done over the years had destroyed everything, even any hope of reconciliation.

He was angry at himself; he realized that he had this vanity of pride, of demanding respect, when subconsciously he knew respect is earned not demanded.

He told me that the day before New Years just after I had left to return home, he had come home from work early and found Mother sitting at the kitchen table crying. Water was everywhere, the front of Mother’s house dress was soaked, she had been defrosting the old refrigerator and the water and ice spilled all over her onto the floor, she was so tired that she hadn’t started dinner, that it was the final straw.

Father he put his arms around her and kissed her for the first time in years that it startled her, he said to her to go up stairs, change into dry clothes and he would clean things up, which he did. When she came down again he said for her to forget defrosting the refrigerator that it was going to be replaced with a newer model.

He told her to forget dinner, when baby sis came home he took them out to dinner at a nice Chinese restaurant that was nearby. And that evening when they got home, they sat down at the dinning room table he got out a tablet of paper and a pen and asked them what it would take to make improvements in everything.

He had more than enough money to make the changes, and he saw how in a few weeks everything was brighter, happier and how Mother and baby sis were happy finding things to improve the house, even he found himself being carried along, the changes were happening fast it made him a bit dizzy, but they always sat down at the dinning room table to discuss purchases and the next steps with him, he liked that, it gave him the feeling that he was still respected but he didn’t have to be a tyrant of the family.

“I even told your mother to go to the beauty parlor, of course she went with a old fashion hair style but it suits her, even had her do a make up course, she looks as beautiful as the day I first met her, and I know she’s happier, so is your sister especially when I sent that other young man away, and I like Ted, he’s like I wish I could have been when I was younger and has a good head on his shoulders.”

He found out indirectly that even his staff are beginning to like him, make sure of their well-being, seeing how the work is progressing, having an open door, everything a good manager should be.

So it wasn’t his health, he recently had a complete physical, and is in good shape for his age, walking the dog has helped in many ways “Got to know our neighbors better, Trixie is a great ice breaker” he said. Mother had also seen a doctor and is also doing well.

This was a great relief for me. But the greatest revelation was that he had started leaving his father’s church and started attending the Catholic church that Mother use to go to before she married Father, he even had Mother contact her sisters and brothers again, much to their surprise.

He told me that there are some things he is resistant to, he refused to replace the rotary phone in the living room, but did get a touch tone phone for the den, “It’s the only way I can do banking with checking the accounts, all that ‘push this and push that’, I have to concede there.” He still writes checks but accepts the debt card, he has only one credit card for everything “I don’t like credit cards---it’s really being in debt but some times it’s a necessary evil.”

No television, at least not yet, “There is nothing new on television, I don’t like having it invade the house, but I have accepted the radio and that CD-phonograph thing, but none of that music the gives you a head-ache” I had to smile at his remark.

He did accept the microwave, “It does save time heating leftovers”, he bought Mother a brand-new dryer, “now she doesn’t have to dry things in the garage during the winter, but she said she still likes to line dry things during the warm months.” And eventually he said he may have to accept the concept of the cell phone, “For road side emergencies, that I can see,” he said.

But he can’t accept the way young people dress, “No sense of class, or decorum, it’s alright to dress casually depending upon the situation, like going to the beach or working on the house or car, or just visiting friends or neighbors, bar-b-quing, I don’t mind the jeans or pants that women wear, especially in relation to what they are doing, but those baggy jeans men wear or bare mid-drifts and facial and body piercing it discusses me, but I guess it’s a ‘tribal’ thing, ladies earrings I can understand but this other stuff…” and he’d shake his head.

But what he was willing to do was amazing. I asked him what the neighbors think, and he said “It doesn’t matter; they can think that we’re eccentric and that’s fine” He told me that not too long ago, baby sis and Ted took Father and Mother to a Art Deco Antique Show, Father said it was heaven, so much to look at and so many people appreciating the old things. “That’s where your sister bought the tie, now I’m hooked, we picked up a number of business cards for shops, but I’m quite content. I think and hope your Mother is.”

Then he took me out to the back yard, and I noticed that besides of grass and the clothes line, there was a vegetable garden, herbs and flowers, the clothes line was now a umbrella device, instead of the a long line, but I also noticed that the back of the garage was different, there was a long concrete pad with a heavy duty portable covered garage over it, and under it was an old car from the late 30’s in a state of being worked on, “Ted’s working on it, asked if he could work on it here, paid to install the pad and look at the back of the garage.”

Instead of a wall there was a set of double doors newly installed, Father took me through and there were side by side a mid-50’s Buick and a late 40’s Ford, the doors were off of the Ford, and the Buick had body work done waiting to be painted. “The Buick runs beautifully, but we are having a hard time choosing a new color, it had been painted over a number of times. Ted had all three cars stored but it was hard for him to work on it, I opened my mouth and said store and work on them here. Your sister is happy about that.” And I saw that he had a smile on his face and he winked at me. Ho, Ho I thought.

We walked back through the house and sat on the front porch, Trixie on her leash to not run after cats, and Father and I talked and talked and talked, everything was so revealing of what was in his soul, that he just poured himself out, so many things caused such a tsunami of events, my outburst at church, Mother covered in water, then finding Trixie on the porch. Father said “When I found that little dog, I felt that God was saying that there was hope for a second chance.” I reached over and held his hand, it was the first time that I could remember volunteering to touch him, and I said “It’s never too late, Dad.”

We both burst into tears and hugged one another, I have no idea how long we were there, but then we heard a car pull up, it was Mother and baby sis. I told Father, now Dad, “Lets tell them we were laughing so hard that we cried over a joke that will explain why our eyes are so red” Dad agreed that it was much easier to explain.

I helped Mother and baby sis putting things away, while Dad took Trixie for her afternoon walk, baby sis had to go to the library to get some research materials but said she would walk, so that left Mother and I alone.

Well she got it out of me why Dad and I were crying, but she was happy for us and happy that Dad was not ill and now I can call her Mom.

We put together lunch and she told me that in the afternoon we all were going with Ted to an Vintage antique show and sale, that would have an evening dance. A Dance!! It was too much, but still it was a wonderful Easter Surprise.

So much more happened that day that it’s left me breathless, I’ll have to continue it in another post.

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And that Sweet Things is what happened so far, when I have a chance I'll post more, many things happened that were funny and then on the Monday after Easter something happened that I could not have imagined years ago.